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Also what about political identity? People experience political commitment as central to their identity. If you rob somebody of their Marxism, for example, it can precipitate a crisis (I've seen it happen). So do we have to tiptoe around political commitments? If not, why not?
You might say something to the effect that political commitments are chosen whereas gender identity isn't chosen. Well, first, it isn't clear that political commitments are chosen. But even if they were, so what? Why would that make a moral difference?
Bottom line, if you make ontological & metaphysical claims then you should expect these to be challenged. You don't have the right to a hermetically sealed chamber where your sense of yourself is safe from outside threats.
You have the negative right to live your life free from interference, harassment, threats, violence, etc. You do not have the positive right to force people to accept your ontological and metaphysical claims, and to view you precisely as you wished to be viewed.
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