Jeremy Stangroom

Meanness does not always imply a boy likes you, but maybe it does sometimes? I don't know. I don't think I've ever been mean to a girl I liked. But perhaps that's how some boys function.

You are badly missing the point, which is: teaching girls that abuse from males is positive & flattering is bad for the girls. That there are some messed-up boys (and men) who express affection for females by being mean to them is irrelevant. Girls need to know that's not okay.

If you read carefully, you'll see you're making a different point, which is not contradictory to my own. Dont lie to your kids. Whether meanness is often a sign of secret affection, is an empirical question which cannot be debunked by moralising. (that doesn't justify it)

I find it odd that you read an appeal to stop teaching girls that abuse from boys is affection and your response is completely focused on how the boys feel, If you want to debate why some boys mistreat girls, this just wasn't the place for it.

It's not about how the boys feel, it's about truth. You can accept that meanness can be a sign of secret affection, and also contend that it's not okay and shouldn't be seen as healthy.

Sigh. What you don't seem able to grasp, still, is that nobody was arguing that boys never express affection by being mean. Because it is not relevant to the point. At all. The only point here is that girls need to be taught that men abusing them is wrong. Full stop.

It is 'explicitly saying' don't teach your daughters to view abuse as a sign of love. But I have let myself get sucked into yet another endless debate with you, despite promising myself I would not. I don't give a crap why some boys are mean to girls, and I'm done.