I worked as a care assistant for a year or two (partly) looking after kids with severe autism. I often think autism activists have absolutely no clue just how profoundly disabling & destructive the condition can be.
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The lad I helped looked after had no verbal language, very little non-verbal language, nearly always screamed with any human contact (sometimes not with his parents), unable to look after his personal hygiene (to the point where it was dangerous for him)...
he couldn't leave the house, he had no written language, he tended to head towards the corners of the room he was in where he'd stim. I think he was living in a sensory hell. (But very hard to say for certain...)
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Probably. Did you ever give him shades to wear? Ear defenders? Or if he is prone to throw things, just turning off flouresent lights and being quiet? I did that once for some autistic kids I was told were 'bad'. We sat in the daylit Sunday school room and were nice and calm.
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This was a long time ago. You couldn't give him things to wear or even approach him. His parents could, sometimes (when they visited). He was calmer on the rare occasions it was quiet, but... that wasn't very often. This was a severely underfunded & understaffed residential home.
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It's cruel. My mom used to threaten to put me in a home. I learned to hide and be quiet. All the time. I don't talk about it much because I was raised to think of my behavior as evil and not normal. I bet he was glad you were there. Even if all the bad stuff happened.
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It was cruel. I don't think he was glad we were there. I think he was in hell. I'd like to sugar coat it, but the reality is it was a tragic situation. (I should say there were other children/young adults in the home with autism who had a much better time of things.)
End of conversation
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