phil

@PhilJamesson

bangers and trash | thursday vids

New York, NY
Έγινε μέλος την περίοδο Δεκέμβριος 2008

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  1. Καρφιτσωμένο Tweet
    10 Ιαν
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  2. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    12 Φεβ

    jesse: prepare for trouble! james: make it doubl— ash: shut the fuck up meowth: meowth! that's r— ash: i know who you weak pieces of shit are james: calm down ash (pushing his sleeves up): i don't even need to use my pokemon james (stepping aside): ok ok we're blasting off

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  3. πριν από 3 ώρες

    waiter: how's everything so far me: what do you mean waiter: i... just want to know how things are so far me: they're not "so far." we're right in front of you. whats your deal waiter: bro i just did shrooms

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  4. 29 Απρ

    jon: they’ll all go down if we kill the Night— dothraki: kill the night? you got it boss (they all charge the darkness) jon: …King

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  5. 29 Απρ

    bran: im going to go now [bran wargs into a raven that immediately gets toasted by dragonfire] bran: im back. that sucked

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  6. 29 Απρ

    refreshing hbogo very calmly and not screaming at all

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  7. 28 Απρ

    priest: and you. do you take this horse to the old town road? to ride til you can't no more? me: i d-- wait no i'm dreaming about old town road again horse's dad: i KNEW he wasn't serious me: what? this is clearly a dream horse bride (tears in eyes): no... this is a nightmare

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  8. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    28 Απρ

    Legally Blonde = Good Legally Blonde 2 =

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  9. 28 Απρ

    I'm Jon Snow and I'm here to say: go to the crypts because they're safe!

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  10. 28 Απρ

    when the dark lord in whom you put your undying faith betrays you

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  11. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    27 Απρ

    This is the greatest musical composition I have ever created, and it is a shitpost in the style of bon iver

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  12. 28 Απρ

    customer: I'll have a whiskey, neat me: yes whiskey is neat [i grab some ice] customer: no rocks me: yep, it's neat and it rocks. calm down

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  13. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    5 Απρ

    me: you have any idea what's going on? [mechanic wheels out from under my car] mechanic (dusting off his hands and getting to his knees): yeah, your problem's right here me: ...? what is mechanic: (lifts my car over his head and throws it into the sun) your car fuckin sucks

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  14. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    13 Απρ

    kelloggs CEO: what's our next cereal folks exec: how about "apple jacks" kelloggs CEO: nice. apple cereal exec: no. people who think this cereal tastes like apples are fucking idiots kelloggs CEO (really self-conscious): yeah haha obviously exec: the apple is the villain

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  15. 28 Απρ

    the two types of twitter drafts

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  16. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    25 Απρ

    the big interview

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  17. 27 Απρ

    you sit down at the empty hotel bar and order a whiskey, neat. "good choice!" a voice announces from behind, and its owner sidles up to the empty seat next to you. you turn, because the voice sounds familiar. it couldn't be... it is. your eyes well up. it's waluigi

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  18. 27 Απρ

    me (seeing a fellow pirate i haven't seen before): hey buddy. are you a "heave" or a "ho" haha him: (shakes his whole head at me and yells through a toothless maw) me: you said it brother

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  19. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    28 Σεπ 2018

    the squid in mariokart doesn't aim for the kart driver. that's what the other characters, imprisoned in their false reality, do. no, the squid sprays its ink on the screen, because it knows the real enemy: you

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  20. Ο χρήστης έκανε Retweet
    12 Μαρ

    freeing the rat – στην τοποθεσία Chuck E. Cheese's

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  21. 25 Απρ

    trump: give us our citizen back unharmed. kim jong un: give me $2 million trump: fine kim jong un: here's your fuckin guy. we put him in a coma and this is just a taste of what we do to our own citizens. literally everyone knows that about us trump: i believe you're innocent

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