LARGE ADULT PONCH

@PREMIUMPONCHO

The People’s Helpful Gym Buddy. Ardent Reacher Creature. he/him’s nastygum

QUEENS? ONLY IN BROOKLYN, BABY
ponchodotcom.com
Joined May 2009
5,000 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    May 6

    i am achieving my true form. i am the Summer Dipshit

    10 replies 3 retweets 103 likes
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  2. 3 hours ago

    NELL: [Something I don’t understand] ME: What? NELL: [Same thing but louder] or NELL: [Unintelligible] ME: What? NELL: I know, right? Can you believe it?

    1 reply 15 likes
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  3. 3 hours ago

    someone just yelled “THANK YOU JOB NICE DONE” and i love it

    4 likes
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  4. 5 hours ago

    love waking up with a completely asleep arm that takes longer to wake up than the rest of me, limply hanging by my side as i piss for 10 minutes nonstop

    2 likes
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  5. 5 hours ago

    leaving instructions to the catsitter that they must rest their forehead upon my little king's forehead while whispering "my little king"

    20 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    Aug 6

    Yo, tomorrow the Roguelike Metroidvania "Dead Cells" comes out on consoles. The team that made it is an anarcho-syndicalist co-op where no one is the boss and everyone is paid equally. If that's your jam, vote with your wallet and support them.

    11 replies 97 retweets 290 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Aug 9

    DOES ANYONE IN NEW YORK WANT TWO PERFECT PRECIOUS CATS TO TAKE CARE OF FOREVER

    If you are local to NY & want to be spike and brad’s new parent, please LMK. If you just like spike and brad and want to be sad about me not keeping them, please privately deal with it bc I will be real mad if you tell me. Thank you. Here they are:
    9 retweets 15 likes
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  8. 15 hours ago

    NELL: Hey honey could you *WHISPERS INTO A RUNNING SHOWER* ME: What NELL: I just need *SLAMS A DOOR WHILE TURNING ON A VACUUM* ME: Please speak louder NELL: If you could just *ACTIVATES BLENDER WHILE FIRING A GUN* ME: What are you saying NELL: I NEED SEVERAL ZIPLOCK BAGGIES

    20 replies 175 retweets 1,460 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    16 hours ago

    I planned and executed the first ten-year joke on Twitter, just in case that wasn't clear:

    This account has two tweets spaced exactly ten years apart
    30 replies 154 retweets 2,159 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    18 hours ago

    Hey THIS is what people want

    53 replies 1,545 retweets 12,742 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Aug 10

    Useful to know categorically that the founder of Wikipedia is a Zionist.

    150 rockets fired at Israel by Hamas. silent.
    17 replies 233 retweets 586 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Aug 8

    I had a really stupid dream where I made a really shitty meme image that was just a roll of toilet paper and read "If your fixin to wipe you ass | Makesure you got one of these" So I re-created it exactly as I remembered it right down to the typos and missing space.

    12 replies 1,156 retweets 2,797 likes
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  13. 20 hours ago

    that notebook was filled front to back with "it fuckin owns to hang out with a sloth"

    1 retweet 13 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    20 hours ago

    A year ago a leftist named Heather Heyer was killed by a white nationalist. Since then, Trumps right government has attempted to outlaw counter protest, and the liberal center has implemented it's *ahem* Interesting trademark move: accusing the left of being Russian spies

    4 replies 450 retweets 2,335 likes
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  15. 21 hours ago

    sometimes facebook's "on this day" feature really comes through for me

    6 replies 11 retweets 128 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    4 Sep 2012

    just found out my high school ex-girlfriend whom i loved very much at the time recently got married wearing a Boba Fett helmet

    4 replies 9 retweets 55 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    11 Feb 2013

    during tibetan sky burials theres always the risk that the birds will eat everything except your dick and that people will laugh at the dick

    7 replies 321 retweets 758 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    9 Jan 2013

    . So is Paris any good or not

    78 replies 7,357 retweets 17,119 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Aug 9

    The only plan I have for retirement and old age is to look like master roshi when he gets huge

    4 replies 7 retweets 228 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Aug 10

    I tended bar in New York and went to college, and buddy let me tell you, tending bar was all talking with people about politics and literature and college was all butt chugging malt liquor

    6 replies 91 retweets 1,371 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    13 May 2014

    ive already accepted that im going to hell because I mispronounced church as "gurtch" once

    13 replies 694 retweets 1,691 likes
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