Paul F. TompkinsVerified account

@PFTompkins

TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram:

HOLLYWOOD, U.S.A.
Joined November 2008

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  2. RIP. Thank you for giving us the dark chocolate peanut butter cups. May the parking at your funeral be an absolute nightmare.

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  3. Retweeted
    3 hours ago

    This series of tweets was a descent into madness

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  4. Retweeted
    4 hours ago

    someone from the Bloomberg campaign is eventually going to text me and instead of screenshotting my mean reply for twitter I am going to talk to them because I am lonely

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  5. Retweeted

    Before getting off the bus, this little girl told the bus driver that “Shake It Off” was her favorite song. He stopped everything he was doing, parked the bus, turned up the song, and jammed with her...💪🌎🎶❤️

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  6. Retweeted
    4 hours ago

    Proverb Writer: k so I’m thinking- ‘You can’t eat your cake & keep it too!’” Boss: Yes! Love it man!..small note- we’re gonna flip the order & change a word so the entire phrase becomes baffling & useless. Cool? Writer: ... Boss: ...also we’re taking your name off all of these

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  7. Retweeted

    if you're Steyer and you're that rich you leave this race slightly less rich, but more famous and you hung out with Juvenile -- honestly a good deal

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  8. *this album

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  9. Haven’t listened to this in so long and just realized I can now look up the lyrics MANY revelations so far

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  10. Retweeted

    Jackass did some pretty wild stunts!

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  11. Retweeted

    Yes, either coronavirus or Bernie Sanders can be stopped. The train is approaching the switch. On one set of tracks is the coronavirus. On the other is Bernie Sanders. You are holding a lever

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    what great fortune that these texts both came in while i was canvassing today (which is fun and sexy and cool and GREAT for the calves and you should do it before super tuesday)

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  13. Retweeted
    9 hours ago

    From this particular vantage point, my light switch looks like an angry face. cc

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  16. Yeah I’ll watch pre-season baseball SO WHAT

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  17. Retweeted

    giving wendy a hug because she does not enjoy the vet office and yet still had to go for her checkup this morning because we want her to be healthy but because she doesn't understand what much of that means, she just trembles for a while before/during/after

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  18. Retweeted

    This is the only way Canadians can process any type of information

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  19. Retweeted
    10 hours ago

    “I am angry that a candidate is engaging in campaigning against my preferred candidate” continues to be one of the more tedious takes that we all have to see over and over.

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  20. Retweeted
    Feb 28

    When the CDC tells me not to touch my face

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