Paul Kafasis

Terry Francona sure does love him a bloody starting pitcher in the ALCS.

Cleveland starting pitcher Trevor Bauer features a fastball, curveball, slider, and of course, the bloodball.

And don’t even get me started on his revolting possum tail.

If you gaze long at a possum, the possum also gazes at you.

To be clear, this possum was very much alive, and he looked right back at me with his awful possum face. My day was ruined.

While out running, I invented a new and powerful diet plan. I call it “Looking at a possum”, and it's the best appetite suppressant around.

Lately, I've been trying to picture Trump's concession speech, after his inevitable and well-deserved loss. Here's the scary part: I can't.

Just think of all the time some folks have spent creating Instagram Stories, and all the time everyone else has spent scrolling past them.

Every single morning: I read the news today, oh boy.

I’m no mathematician, but I could’ve sworn 2016 was an even number.

On the plus side, I don’t have to listen to Ron Darling for one more miserable second.

I keep coming back to this: What the hell kind of a “move” is taking a woman furniture shopping?

Who will withdraw support for Donald Trump next, in hopes of saving their political life? Find out on today’s episode of “That’s So Craven”!

Did Trump really have to use the phrase “never withdraw”?

It’s strange. I don’t have a wife or daughter, yet somehow I still know that women are people, and also that people deserve respect.

@PBones i once watched a fully stuffed casket go down a conveyor belt and I swear you could hear a muffled "WEEEEEEE!!!" coming from within

At what age does one stop wanting to ride the luggage conveyor belt? I know it's at least older than 33.