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@OnionLabs

The in-house and team of , America's Finest News Source.

Chicago
onionlabs.theonion.com
Joined March 2011
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  1. Nov 4

    If you like being confused, lied to, and taken advantage we know a place you'll absolutely love – The Cell Phone store! Head on over today to experience what it's like to waste money and brain cells at a horrible place! Or use and avoid stores all together. Your choice!

    1 reply 3 likes
    Undo
  2. Oct 30

    Fall's here and it's the perfect time to get screwed over at the Cell Phone Store! Get talked into buying stuff you don't need, pick a confusing plan at random, commit yourself to a financially inconsistent contract! Or use and avoid it all together. Your call.

    Come On Down To The Cell Phone Store And Get Taken Advantage Of!
    1 reply 2 likes
    Undo
  3. Oct 21

    Do you need a new wireless plan? Do you like being upsold crap you don't need? Do you enjoy dealing with soulless salespeople willing to say anything to get your money? Then boy do we have a place for you – The Cellphone Store! Or if this ain't your style, try .

    Come On Down To The Cell Phone Store And Get Taken Advantage Of!
    1 reply 2 retweets 13 likes
    Undo
  4. Oct 18

    Finally! Eight reasons to give up on being a better person.

    4 likes
    Undo
  5. Sep 11

    Good news – pumpkin season is here! Bad news – someone took them all (*Cough* *Cough*). Watch this coffee shop try to make do with less-appetizing fall flavors.

    Fall Is Here And You Know What That Means – Squashuccino Season!
    1 reply 5 retweets 27 likes
    Undo
  6. Sep 4

    When you use to protect your company's data, everyone knows they can trust you ... maybe a little too much.

    When you're the most trusted person at work things can get out of hand
    5 likes
    Undo
  7. Aug 28

    What happens when you're obsessed with security? You become this guy. (And you love that your identity is protected by ).

    This Man is Obsessed with Security
    3 retweets 11 likes
    Undo
  8. Aug 7

    When you use to protect your company's data, you become the go-to person for trust. Which is great ... but a little complicated.

    This is What Happens When Everyone Trusts You At Work
    1 reply 4 likes
    Undo
  9. Jul 25

    Don’t wait until it’s too late! Call CastleRing Insurance today to protect your Chicken Rings.

    Chicken Ring Insurance
    1 reply 4 retweets 12 likes
    Undo
  10. Jul 23

    Your college years can be the best of your life ... but sometimes also the most annoying, thanks to everything on this list.

    4 likes
    Undo
  11. Jul 22

    Don’t wait until it’s too late! Call CastleRing Insurance today to protect your Chicken Rings.

    Protect Your Chicken Rings with CastleRing Insurance.
    1 reply 8 retweets 19 likes
    Undo
  12. Jul 19

    There are some things about college that have got to go. From over-eager RAs to heavy textbooks, they're all in this list.

    2 retweets 13 likes
    Undo
  13. Jul 17

    What happens when a textbook company like ditches textbooks and goes all digital? You start to think maybe some other things about college should go, too.

    7 retweets 13 likes
    Undo
  14. Jun 26

    Attention fancy people, is now introducing the Red Stella Cup so you can bring your fancy to more casual occasions this summer

    A Fancy Person's Guide to Being a Non-Fancy Person
    11 replies 36 retweets 234 likes
    Undo
  15. Jun 14

    Listen, cars are great. They get you from here to there, they have seats and wheels, but guess what? RVs have all those things plus they have kitchens and toilets. So, sorry cars but RVs are just way better. Just ask .

    It’s Official, RVs Are Better Than Cars
    2 retweets 10 likes
    Undo
  16. Jun 12

    Learn why this man stops at eight different fast food spots to make one burger.

    Burgers
    1 reply 7 retweets 17 likes
    Undo
  17. May 31

    The bath is drawn. The romantic mood is set. The kids are sleeping 10 feet way on the other side of the door. Wait, what? Next time book your hotel on for connecting rooms and a whole lot more privacy.

    Nothing Says Romantic Date Like Your Kids Sleeping Ten Feet Way
    1 like
    Undo
  18. May 31

    Do you need to get away? Is your boss always on your case? Is your relationship going stale? Did your neighbor accidentally see you naked through your front window? Whatever it is, is your way out.

    What Do You Need To Get Away From?
    1 retweet 5 likes
    Undo
  19. May 24

    Saying goodbye is always hard, especially when you're going as far away as she is. Maybe next time she'll book her hotel room on and all of this will be avoided.

    Goodbyes Are Never Easy
    1 retweet 2 likes
    Undo
  20. May 20

    Learn why this man stops at eight different fast food spots to make one burger.

    Burgers
    6 retweets 19 likes
    Undo

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