Paryah

It took a long time to find words for anything I was experiencing. A lot of stumbling across similar experiences, and more time to finally convince myself that whatever this was, it was worth it to find out. This February I was diagnosed and began treatment for ADHD.

It's still wild to me because it's hard to believe that just some medicine and advice could actually fix "bad brain". I remember my doctor telling me what to expect, and I was incredulous that everything would magically get better. But it did.

With treatment, I suddenly wasn't completely exhausted every day. I had energy to do things. I started forming long term goals (something I've never had in my entire life), and, surprise surprise, actually working toward them.

I got a bird and started training him. I painted my kitchen. I organized my house. I started filling my weekends up with all the little tasks I'd been unable to do organize previously.

I started improving my career. Where before I struggled so much with just getting by and doing the bare minimum of work, suddenly I was interested in my job. I wanted to improve. I started taking on extra responsibilities and finding new areas of opportunity.

All this is to say that my life started filling up with good things. Things I want to spend time on. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to find time when you commute 2 hours a day and raid three evenings a week.

I began sacrificing my sleep to find the time, which resulted in my memory failing in alarming ways. I filled my weekends to the brim with plans, pushing out all of the less planned but still important things like ... just chilling and letting your brain catch up.

I loved raiding (though I wasn't a fan of all the other things I should be doing outside of raiding just to keep up). But I'm apparently getting my life in order at 31, and with that comes hard decisions.