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  1. Retweeted
    28 Sep 2020

    I was gonna leave until Friday, but at their current rate it'll be 1000 tweets long by then, and I'm worried about you, mate. It's OK to get drunk on at 5pm on Monday, isn't it? Well, that's my recommendation anyway. Here goes...

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  2. Retweeted
    21 Apr 2014

    UKIP stands for the worst in human beings: our prejudice, selfishness, and fear.

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  3. Retweeted
    30 Dec 2013

    The Pitchfork Guide to Upcoming Releases: Winter 2014. Records to look forward to in the coming months

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  4. 30 Sep 2013

    Last night the IT saved my life .

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  5. Retweeted

    Finally seen the Miley Cyrus performance and I can understand the controversy. Dancing bears have no place in a civilised society.

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  6. Retweeted
    21 Mar 2013

    Local Farmer Says His Horse Can Talk, Won't Stop Screaming In His Ear

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  7. Retweeted

    CRAB FACT : When no one is looking they walk forwards CRAB MYTH : They only smoke roll ups: CRAB PASTE : £8.00 a bottle

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  8. Retweeted
    4 Feb 2012

    Breaking News: Snowflake spotted over British airspace. All transport cancelled until further notice.

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  9. 19 Mar 2013

    An another day, an another signal failure

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  10. Retweeted
    5 Feb 2013

    "Together, Dell and Gateway will be capable of offering some of the largest desktops on the market."

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  11. Retweeted
    24 Jan 2013

    I'm all for gun control if it means my boyfriend will stop kissing his biceps.

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  12. Retweeted

    I love writing WASH ME on a dirty windshield as I make eye contact with the driver after dropping onto the hood from an overpass.

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  13. Retweeted
    10 Dec 2012

    Pugs, ammiright?!

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  14. Retweeted
    23 Nov 2012

    20,000 Sacrificed In Annual Blood Offering To Corporate America

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  15. Retweeted

    Exactly how nice is ? Let's just say when a person does something nice for you, there's a reason you say T.Hanks.

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  16. Retweeted
    25 Oct 2012

    If you download too many Smiths songs, the iTunes genius bar phones suicide prevention.

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  17. Retweeted

    Ah London, you have a Dickensian pea souper feel about you today. He says trying to make grey and miserable sound romantic. ed

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  18. Retweeted
    19 Oct 2012

    Jeremy Hunt also refuses to say whether he believes homeopathy works

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  19. Retweeted
    8 Oct 2012

    Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around | 'I'm Lying More,' Romney Says

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  20. Retweeted
    2 Oct 2012

    Libra: You have a small but meaningful tattoo and you discovered some of your favorite music from the Garden State soundtrack.

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