Offbԑatmammal (;,;)

@OffBeatMammal

Born naked and crying I somehow made to where I am today. Clothed and confused. Wrote a book:

WA, USA
offbeatmammal.com
Joined October 2006
440 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 20 hours ago

    As someone who grew up in Maidenhead, I love that chose to represent there

    Morning! No, you didn't dream it. I stood on a stage with the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. (And I did a dab).
  2. Retweeted
    Jun 9

    Thank you, . For this, and for everything. I promise to keep fighting (right after I'm done sobbing).

    1,635 replies 11,171 retweets 103,598 likes
  4. Jun 7

    If people are getting bent out of shape by Wonder Woman, I'm curious how they're going to take Atomic Blonde later this year?

    1 reply
  5. Jun 6

    Surprised just how good mango is. I am sold!

    1 reply
  6. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    Due to the terror attacks, we will be opening as usual today. Same time. Same food. Same customers. Because fuck you, terrorism, that's why.

    240 replies 13,324 retweets 36,227 likes
  7. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    love or hate Ariana Grande, you have to respect her. if not for her talent then for her bravery and her heart of gold.

    120 replies 2,706 retweets 12,524 likes
  8. Retweeted
    Jun 2

    - i am the lorax, i speak for the trees. - well i am 'the donald' and i'll do as i please...

    13 replies 1,178 retweets 1,908 likes
  9. Jun 2

    Signed up for DIGITS yesterday. Pretty magical experience

  10. Retweeted
    Jun 2

    $5 Summer Sale happening now! Get a subscription to Hot Bike for only $5 & have the best summer yet:

    3 retweets 2 likes
  11. May 31

    WW was the only good bit of Batman vs Superman, so I've been waiting for this with keen anticipation...

    Did DC finally make a good film? And better yet, it stars a woman hero? This is exceedingly good news. Can’t wait to see it now.
    1 like
  12. Retweeted
    May 31

    People in covfefe houses shouldn't throw covfefe.

    Crooked Hillary Clinton now blames everybody but herself, refuses to say she was a terrible candidate. Hits Facebook & even Dems & DNC.
    31,828 replies 317,523 retweets 720,222 likes
  13. May 31

    Messing about with working out the Capital Gains Tax impact on long/short term stock holding. So wrote some code: :)

  14. May 30

    I just published “A visit to the optician opened my eyes”

  15. May 30

    A visit to the optician opened my eyes

  16. May 29

    Sitting in my hotel room and I just said "Alexa, turn on the living room lights" and had a moment of confusion when nothing happened. Sigh!

    2 likes
  17. May 29

    GOP are happy to accuse other religions of being child molesters, but for some reason they want to keep the rules allowing it here intact

    The Republican Party is deeply invested in ensuring that adult men can marry children.
    3 retweets 1 like
  18. Retweeted
    May 29

    First teaser trailer -

    101 replies 1,055 retweets 1,929 likes
  19. May 28

    Important advice for all my children! Heed it!

    Teenagers: what's your response when asked for intimate pics? Why not send one of these instead?
  20. Retweeted
    May 27

    “not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims.” i think the fuck not, you trick ass bitch. get ready:

    1,055 replies 70,341 retweets 90,792 likes

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