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Nymphomachy's profile
Vapor Weyve
Vapor Weyve
Vapor Weyve
@Nymphomachy

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Vapor Weyve

@Nymphomachy

Some kind of mutant writing raccoon. Resistant to most damage types. Intersex Latina. ✡️《she/hers》 Most blocks are via chain; you may tap a friend to appeal.

New York, USA
patreon.com/nymphomachy
Joined April 2017

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    Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

    Vapor Weyve Retweeted queso

    Time for me to bring back the Tomb of the Cursed Y Chromosome storyhttps://twitter.com/Queso_Ok/status/1278467994419675136 …

    Vapor Weyve added,

    queso @Queso_Ok
    can we put this in the hall of fame for most obvious concern trolling ever undertaken by a human being pic.twitter.com/pOX19Td69N
    Show this thread
    4:42 PM - 1 Jul 2020
    • 23 Retweets
    • 111 Likes
    • Bodos. A Man Drinking Coffee della ~ mothra shrine maiden Shmi Baewalker Julia Julia S. Jayna Alex 🐿 tegan🎈🏳️‍🌈🔻
    9 replies 23 retweets 111 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1114885149026549761 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @arthur_affect
        I kinda hope they somehow lose my Y chromosome after I'm dead, and assume I'm dycis If they rediscover it, it'll be like the Mummy's Curse
        1 reply 0 retweets 19 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115067397034135552 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        The year is 2275. A mysterious old crone appears before the group of historians and researchers, warning them about investigating the Tomb of Pilbeam They laugh off her warnings about a Curse of the Karate Cowboy, which she claims spanned generations &died with the Pilbeam girl
        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115068501583122433 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "You mustn't look too closely at the body! The fell curse lies dormant in her flesh! Sleeping, not gone! Disturb her and the Cowboy's Wrath will wreak horrors upon us all!" "Look, lady," says the cocksure research ace, "we're looking for a Y chromosome and we're gonna find it."
        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115069544169652224 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        They blast open the sealed threshold of the Pilbeam tomb and find walls of eerie frescoes of a cowboy hat-wearing demon knocking off the heads of demonic supplicants with a kicking motion One of the assistants tugs at his collar. "Uh, Professor, you sure this is a good idea?"
        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115070916311035904 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "What, are you afraid of a few murals? How the fuck did you make it into our grad program if you'd never heard of Apotropaic imagery? These are just to scare off tomb robbers, you infant. Now shut up. The Pilbeam girl surely lies just beyond this antechamber."
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115076783605538816 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        They come to a yawning archway. One of the mousier assistants hears an indistinct whispering in her ear, turning around to find nothing but stale air and cold masonry. "Look," the Professor says, wild delight in his voice, pointing to the ceiling. "The triglyphs! Y chromosomes!"
        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115077949047345152 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "See, this tomb was constructed in a retro-neoclassical style," lectures the professor excitedly. "These triglyphs clearly depict Y chromosomes! My theory is correct! The Pilbeam girl is—" "What are the metopes in between, though? Aren't they pagan symbols warding against evil?"
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115079310547804160 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        The professor's face turns a furious red. "Are you even LISTENING TO ME? We've been on the right track all along! The chromosome we seek is inside! And with it, my absolution!" "But the metopes—" "Mere decoration! Ties the Doric frieze together! They didn't care what it meant."
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115080948461207552 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        They proceed into the deepest chamber. At the foot of a dark, mysteriously glassy sarcophagus stands a massive silver-gilt sculpture in a Hellenistic baroque style—a diabolical-looking woman on a birthing bed, chitinous abominations emerging from her legs. "...Um," a girl says.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115081959854739456 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "I'm confused," mutters one of the research assistants. "Wasn't the Pilbeam Girl just some obscure writer on social media during the Middle Silicon Age of the Internet? Why go to all this trouble to entomb her? The cost must have been thousands of times her net worth in life."
        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115083832984784898 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "Fool," snaps the Professor. "Haven't you heard the legends about the girl? The rumors?" "What, you mean that stupid crap about her being instrumental in the Battle of Baghdad? At the age of *fifteen?*" He practically growls. "Not the Rosetankie Heresies, you insipid dolt!"
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115085722602606593 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "Well, if you're not talking about the Old Rose Cult, you must be talking about—" "Yes. The supposed 'strange circumstances' of her birth." "You can't seriously believe that she's—" "Pfft. You and all those stuffed-shirts at the Institute will live to regret doubting me."
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115086673950445568 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "Now, enough dawdling," states the professor, with a violent swipe of his hand. "I've brought you all here for a reason. Open the sarcophagus. The Pilbeam Girl is surely within. We are mere moments away from the historical find of the Millennium." "Wait, don't you th—" "NOW!"
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115087757527977984 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        The lid of the sarcophagus is unfathomably heavy. It takes four assistants, using noisy hydraulic equipment, to pry the massive lid upwards and away. It clashes with the marble floor like a crack of thunder. When the machines power down, it seems so quiet the world has ended.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115089026883751936 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "Yes..." murmurs the professor. "At last... I have found her..." "Uh, hey," stammers the mousy girl, "there's writing on the inside of the sarcophagus lid. It looks like a warning—" "Hey, wait!" shouts another assistant, as he peers into the box. "What the fuck? What the FUCK?"
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      17. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115090756664950790 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        The assistant gasps. "This... this CAN'T be the Pilbeam Girl! No way! It's impossible!" The girl's pale skin is marred only by the pallor of death, her silken hair looking as pink as the day it was dyed. "This isn't some three-hundred-year-old corpse! They look freshly dead."
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      18. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115105724823146497 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "I don't get it. Did somebody get here before us? Who IS this girl?" The assistants stare at it. Though the body itself remains almost completely untouched by putrefaction, its clothes are tattered, faded and worn, as though they withered all around it. "Plastinated, maybe?"
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      19. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115109200391213056 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        The mousy girl bites her lip, still regarding the sarcophagus lid with harried concern. "You guys, this warning says we shouldn't—" "It doesn't matter that she's well-preserved! It's her. You saw how superstitious the locals were about this tomb. No one's ever been here."
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      20. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115111037710282752 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "And, now," the professor says with a smirk, as he opens an expensive leather case filled with vacutainers and lancets, "all we need to do is collect this girl's DNA. I trust you have all learned that by now?" "Wait, shouldn't we look at—" "The moment of truth is here."
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      21. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115112006103781376 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        He holds a lancet out to the assistant expectantly. He looks at him, frowns, and then reluctantly accepts the implement. "At last, everybody will know," he says, as his assistant reticently leans over the sarcophagus with the lancet. From the floor, the mousy girl gapes at him.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      22. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115113504867082240 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "Once we have our proof of a Y chromosome, all will know the truth," says the Professor, with a menacing grin. "All along, the Pilbeam Girl was really—" "Don't say it!!" The girl screams. "a MAN." As though on cue, the corpse's eyes open—revealing eyes of the inkiest darkness.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      23. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115115788808204290 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        Motes of caliginous essence seem to and swirl and coalesce from them like ribbons of sluggish smoke. The assistant starts, his trembling hand dropping the lancet. It lands facedown in the flesh of her tattooed shoulder, the handle pointed skyward. Everyone jumps back, yelping.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      24. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115117234857422848 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        "Eh?" The professor blinks at their behavior, still in the dark. "What, are your stomachs really so weak you can't handle DNA extraction?" He leans over the sarcophagus curiously. "You'd think it'd be easier—she doesn't even smell—" In seconds, pale hands are at his neck.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      25. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115118199438290944 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        He doesn't even have a chance to gasp in surprise before he transitions into the desperate gurgles of a man having his windpipe crushed. As the dead woman sits up with vehement purpose, every light in the tomb—electric, LED, incandescent, and otherwise—mysteriously goes out.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      26. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115118741333970944 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        All at once, the screams begin. And, then, finally, silence.
        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      27. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 1 Jul 2020

        Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

        https://twitter.com/Nymphomachy/status/1115119527359074304 …

        Vapor Weyve added,

        Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
        Replying to @Nymphomachy @arthur_affect
        Anyway that's what will happen when I'm dead
        3 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Show this thread
      28. End of conversation

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