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Nymphomachy's profile
Vapor Weyve
Vapor Weyve
Vapor Weyve
@Nymphomachy

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Vapor Weyve

@Nymphomachy

Some kind of mutant writing raccoon. Resistant to most damage types. Intersex Latina. ✡️《she/hers》 Most blocks are via chain; you may tap a friend to appeal.

New York, USA
patreon.com/nymphomachy
Joined April 2017

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    1. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      46. MORROWIND: TRIBUNAL should have let you make out with Almalexia before she betrayed you Sorry, that's a terrible 46 46. MORROWIND is a better game when you load up the soundtrack with a bunch of J-pop songs Wait, no 46. Unmodded Morrowind is not especially playable THERE

      4 replies 3 retweets 41 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      47. I bought a Sega Dreamcast on launch day, so if there is an afterlife, I know that I'm going to a very good one The rest of you, idk, you've got quite a hole to dig yourselves out of, I don't really know what to tell you tbh, that's really quite a pickle you're in

      1 reply 1 retweet 28 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      48. As a parent, it's one thing not to play video games if your child doesn't want you to but if you REFUSE to play video games with your child or engage intellectually with this interest whatsoever, you're effectively dismissing and alienating them, which is a form of abuse

      2 replies 4 retweets 57 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      48, cont'd. Seriously, repeatingly conveying to your child that the things they care about are purely intellectually vapid and totally without merit are a surefire way to lose your child's confidence in you, which will work out great when the Nazis radicalize them

      1 reply 4 retweets 71 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      I don't even recognize any of the people liking my tweets anymore. What is happening. Am I being trolled. 49. CASTLEVANIA ORIGINS is non-canon in the Castlevania timeline, and honestly there's a strong basis to blame at least some of that on misogyny since it has Sonia as MC

      2 replies 0 retweets 22 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      50. The only reason to play a WWE video game would have been to pin John Cena for the WWE Title whilst playing as, like, Alexa Bliss or Asuka, and you can never do that because intergender matches are banned, so don't play them and give money to the Trump-supporting McMahons

      3 replies 1 retweet 25 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      My meds are kicking in so we're about to get extra crunchy 51. It is really bizarre and weird that I just woke up one day and everybody was in relatively calm, collected agreement that the Crash Bandicoot games are good Like I just feel like not very long ago they were bad???

      7 replies 1 retweet 33 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      52, THE STREETS OF RAGE REMAKE, aka the only STREETS OF RAGE game it is illegal to play, is the absolute finest 2D brawler ever made, and games journalism fucking devastated its circulation by blowing it up high enough for the lawyers to take notice of it, so, thx motherfuckers

      1 reply 1 retweet 22 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      53. It is honestly really embarrassing that any human being ever came out and said with a straight face that MORTAL KOMBAT II was a good game It really, REALLY isn't, that's blatantly untrue, it has a CPU that does nothing but input-read with crystal precision at any difficulty

      2 replies 0 retweets 22 likes
      Show this thread
    10. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      54. BRAID isn't about the atomic bomb, it's about *boobs*—hence, the objective of the game being a lovely princess Only by being obsessed enough to collect all the stars can you actually "catch" the Princess by going to the opposite side of the level, thereby becoming her

      2 replies 2 retweets 23 likes
      Show this thread
      Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

      Vapor Weyve Retweeted Arthur Chu

      54, cont'd: The game ends this way because that is what being a trans woman is all abouthttps://twitter.com/arthur_affect/status/1081407952076959744 …

      Vapor Weyve added,

      Arthur ChuVerified account @arthur_affect
      Replying to @Nymphomachy
      But then you cause a massive, disastrous explosion that ends the game in a mysterious and unsatisfying anticlimax
      8:34 PM - 4 Jan 2019
      • 4 Retweets
      • 22 Likes
      • Maria Luna Celeste 🏳️‍⚧️ Rosie Q Parker🛡️ Rapid Onset Wooloo Kaworu from LA Hot Garum Summer™ Celine Deontology Taylor Greenwood dr elmyra Ysabel
      1 reply 4 retweets 22 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          55. The question of "if Mario is to Peach what Luigi is to Daisy, and if Mario is to Wario what is Luigi to Waluigi, then Mario is to Peach what Wario is to...?" can be easily solved, and in fact HAS been for several years Wario's Peach is Captain Syrup, aka the best Mario char

          3 replies 2 retweets 27 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          56. Like the Sam Raimi SPIDER-MAN movies, the MOTHER games, despite being formative in if not outright precipitating objectively genius works of art and being produced by people who adored their medium, are goofy overrated/overexposed twee crap and I'd rather not think of them

          4 replies 1 retweet 17 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          57. I am perpetually haunted by the trainers on Nugget Bridge in POKEMON RED/BLUE, who, after you defeat them, remain standing ineptly there for the remainder of the game, saying nothing when prompted other than "I did my best, I've no regrets!" Worst NPC design I've seen yet

          3 replies 1 retweet 30 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          58. Fire/Water/Grass starters in EVERY SINGLE POKEMON GAME is boring, and there's frankly no reason, other than a slavish dedication to maintaining tradition, not to have Ground/Steel/Electric starters or something Also these games should let us be any trainer archetype

          4 replies 3 retweets 43 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          59. It would be really great and neat if Cerebro was real, and the guys who do Penny Arcade were invited to Westchester to see it in action, but then there was a terrible mishap when a centipede crawled into Cerebro and then they had their minds overwritten by a centipede mind

          2 replies 2 retweets 32 likes
          Show this thread
        7. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          60. It is silly that Guile is a commissioned officer in the Air Force, and I made this gif several years ago, in which Guile beats the shit out of an airman's car because she reported him to the Inspector General for turning the flightline into a fighting pit It happens I guesspic.twitter.com/Af4eTxx0LY

          2 replies 1 retweet 22 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          60, cont'd: (It was going to be the visual accompaniment to a short story I wrote in which I used games metaphors, Scott Pilgrim-style, to satirize what the Marine Corps did to my now-ex-wife) This probably canonically happened though, I mean, Guile is objectively a shitty CO

          1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
          Show this thread
        9. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          61. Soul Calibur III offers the finest single-player experience of any fighting game in history and it is genuinely preposterous to me that not only has every single fighting game since NOT adapted SCIII's style, but that even *the sequels to that game itself* departed from it

          5 replies 7 retweets 34 likes
          Show this thread
        10. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          Vapor Weyve Retweeted Plutoburns

          62. This is a good point—this is the FUCKING CARDINAL SIN of game design and if you put anything like this in a game that otherwise seriously implies the player is directing the protagonist's decisions, you're being a colossal dickhttps://twitter.com/Plutoburns/status/1081422965894455296 …

          Vapor Weyve added,

          Plutoburns @Plutoburns
          Replying to @Nymphomachy
          more so i was REALLY bothered by the guy at the end who asks if id like to join team rocket and I COULDNT PICK YES
          3 replies 4 retweets 44 likes
          Show this thread
        11. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

          63. I accidentally did 52 twicehttps://twitter.com/nymphomachy/status/1081404448419823617 …

          Vapor Weyve added,

          Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
          52. "Fake" choices should be replaced entirely by "frivolous" choices Like, yes, what cereal I had in the morning doesn't affect anything, but you'd better code the game to remember my choice later, otherwise you're undermining my confidence in the narrative you're writing
          Show this thread
          1 reply 1 retweet 18 likes
          Show this thread
        12. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          64. Aerith Gainsborogh is CLEARLY a sex worker—given the context she exists in, this is blatantly obvious—and there's not a whole lot of reason to deny it, other than whorephobia

          5 replies 6 retweets 49 likes
          Show this thread
        13. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          65. More games need to do clever easter eggs like THE WITCH'S HOUSE, where if you just remain in the very first area and leave the game on for an hour, the witch dies of blood loss and you win the game without actually entering the haunted house in the first place

          4 replies 0 retweets 35 likes
          Show this thread
        14. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          66. In THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: OCARINA OF TIME, you can catch Poes (ghosts) in a bottle, and then drink them, for some reason There are only two explanations for this 1) Link is like Raziel from SOUL REAVER and eats souls 2) Link is letting ghosts possess his body because he's done

          3 replies 10 retweets 35 likes
          Show this thread
        15. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          67. The GRAND THEFT AUTO series is the FAMILY GUY of video games and, much like Seth McFarlane, it is inexplicable that we allow the creators of these games to continue circulating among respectable company instead of being recognized as loathsome wretches and cast out

          4 replies 3 retweets 60 likes
          Show this thread
        16. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          67, cont'd: Like seriously, it is genuinely fucking absurd that we let people make games that glamorizes the murder of sex workers and then these people continue to walk among us and eat from our sandwich platters and shit CAGE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS THEY'RE AWFUL

          2 replies 1 retweet 40 likes
          Show this thread
        17. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          68. Every single Mega Man game needs to be consolidated into one game. I mean it. I want to have to go through eighty-something robot masters and traverse through ten different Wily Fortresses equipped with a hundred different master weapons (with maybe only ten set to active)

          2 replies 2 retweets 44 likes
          Show this thread
        18. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          69. SILENT HILLS was a truly silly bastardization of the concepts that made SILENT HILL such a compelling series Digitizing Norman Reedus was a fucking stupid idea that would have purged any sense of immersion from the game and honestly the world is well rid of SILENT HILLS

          2 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
          Show this thread
        19. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          70. Elza Walker, the character slated to be the heroine of RESIDENT EVIL 2 until getting replaced with Claire Redfield in the final version, was a way more interesting character and honestly the series is poorer for incorporating the changepic.twitter.com/KATMcl4vyZ

          1 reply 1 retweet 20 likes
          Show this thread
        20. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          Vapor Weyve Retweeted Vapor Weyve

          71. I'm not actually going to write an essay but this tweet is truehttps://twitter.com/nymphomachy/status/1074690550182354944 …

          Vapor Weyve added,

          Vapor Weyve @Nymphomachy
          Every bizarre detail about the Toe Jam & Earl games is suitably explained when you realize the earthling-infested "planet" that they crash their spaceship into is not, in fact, Earth, but Hell itself, and the human enemies are its damned inhabitants. In this 12-part essay I will—
          1 reply 1 retweet 19 likes
          Show this thread
        21. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          72. None of the discourse surrounding the Phillips CD-i Zelda games is good None of the people making fun of them have actually played them, so they're just defaulting to CUTSCENES in making the point of how bad they are which is top-tier intellectual dishonesty tbh

          3 replies 1 retweet 21 likes
          Show this thread
        22. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          72, cont'd: In point of fact there's some very decent art direction in those games and they have really good soundtracks so pretty much everything said about "the Dark Triforce" is groupthink meme bullshit The Russian animation is admittedly unfortunate, though

          2 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
          Show this thread
        23. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          73. The CHZO MYTHOS games are a series where a guy sleeping with a girl transforms her into a monster and so tbh it's all the little stuff like that strewn throughout the games that make it totally okay that nobody really remembers or thinks about them anymore

          2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
          Show this thread
        24. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          74. The first FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S game is the scariest because it's the only one in which the animatronics are actually framed in shadow The later games all have the jumpscares take place in illuminated environments, which just kinda makes them seem less real

          2 replies 2 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        25. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          75. NANASHI NO GAME was a real waste of potential because most of the conceit of a glitchy, haunted DRAGON QUEST game gets pushed to the wayside for a pretty bog-standard 3D romp through normal J-horror tropes You shouldn't need to switch to 3D to make a creepypasta game

          1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
          Show this thread
        26. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          76. 1996's RAMA was a freaking amazing adventure game and frankly it's pretty goofy that nobody remembers it anymore, like I don't really get what's wrong with everyone It was literally a game where if you got killed by robots, Arthur C. Clarke would appear to taunt you

          4 replies 3 retweets 34 likes
          Show this thread
        27. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          Really DID think people were gonna stop liking the tweet some thirty likes ago 77. The only acceptable way to respond to the transmisogynistic backlash against Mizhena, the transgender priestess of Tempus from SIEGE OF DRAGONSPEAR, would have been to grant her a divine portfolio

          2 replies 1 retweet 24 likes
          Show this thread
        28. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          77, cont'd: Also, it's pretty much impossible to complain about a game developer putting a minor trans girl NPC in a video game and NOT also be the kind of person who is woefully unsuited to be anything other than a series of fine vegan leather products

          2 replies 1 retweet 33 likes
          Show this thread
        29. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          78. HALF-LIFE is a stupid game because it has a silent protagonist and it would have been SO easy to make that silent protagonist ambiguous enough that a player could picture Gordon Freeman as a female protagonist But the game doesn't do that, it tells you outright you're a dude

          6 replies 2 retweets 52 likes
          Show this thread
        30. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          79. The U.S. military explicitly has an unjustly fascist command structure and carries out hegemonic deeds and FRANKLY, as somebody who served, video games shouldn't let you fucking play as the people leaving trangender Americans to die, I just think maybe that goose is cooked

          1 reply 6 retweets 37 likes
          Show this thread
        31. Vapor Weyve‏ @Nymphomachy 4 Jan 2019

          79, cont'd: (obviously the military does a whole lot of terrible things other than leaving transgender people in a position to die but I mean even outside of the context of the terrible things they're doing, they still do this other thing)

          2 replies 2 retweets 28 likes
          Show this thread
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