Not Zach G.

Florida doesn't get Medical MMJ because 42% said no. Only thing 42% can get you is an F in school or a boner that sits like Stephen Hawking

The first ever probe successfully landed on a comet today. It's built to come in two modes; quantum super computer or anal mutilator.

Abortions are now illegal in FL thanks to Rick Scott. Happy Pull Out Games and may the odds be ever in your favor.

People are all like "STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT" and then they shut down and people are all like "COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"

Aflac as Darkwing Duck #BetterBatmanThanBenAffleck

No one would be surprised that The League of Doom was real and that they lived in Florida.

There's no "i" in "I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her"

Animal Planet tells us Big Foot exist. Discovery that Megalodon exist. History that Aliens exist. Sadly still no news on the Blow-Job Fairy.

What people don't remember is that, in 2001, DMX was nominated for a Grammy for an album where he barked. On songs. Like a dog.

Taco Bell is going green by introducing the Smothered Burrito made up of 100% pure recycled diarrhea.

If you rearrange "George Alexander Louis" you get "Relaxed Gorgeous Alien." Coincidence? Or just time to quit smoking pot forever?

If no one is going to call the royal baby a "royal pain in the arse" with an English accent on live t.v then what's the point.

"You done messed up A-Aron" - @KeeganMKey

"Everything the light touches is our kingdom." "What about that shadowy place?" "That's North West, you can get a 10 for 5 there."

Those socks you're about to buy for Fathers Day is his next cum bucket & the tie you think he likes could be his next noose #shopresponsibly

I believe sex is not about the destination (climax) It's about the journey (trying to roofie her while she's not looking)

I like my kisses down low, makes me raise my bat.

I met @AmandaBynes and she doesn't have any loose screws but she does screw anyone.