Jozef Doyle

Just got a job offer for marketing in Aberdeen, turns out they just got around to seeing my CV I left Aberdeen what, 5 years ago?

Fuck me a guy just said my quiz is discriminatory against people with learning disabilities because it's aural rather than written down. I apologized, asked if his friends could write the questions so he could keep track. "None of my friends can write." Stunned

Home counties dude asked for "2 hophouse... Or whatever the plural of that is" "Pretty sure it's houses?" "Nah it's different when it's a drink"

I've spent the last... Two years? building a repository of compulsory reading for courses I would've done at uni if I hadn't done philosophy and english, I'm up to five courses and 76 books. Not unrelated, a couple friends wanted to start a book club earlier this month......

Like, there's no 18 year old affecting a persona that would say "I haven't a stitch to wear", is there? Could that milieu ever make a resurgence to the point of validating even a vague comment or commentary?

18 year olds singing Morrissey didn't make sense to me when I was also 18. Now it's beyond pastiche, through parody all the way into some weird, quasi-historical reenactment of a simulacrum vibe that I, personally, still think is better than the original

I got a free heart rate monitor that's continuously scanning and my resting heart rate is still, after about 7 years of two full fat monster energies a day, around 40-45. So unless I've just lost the ability to have a fast heartbeat I guess I'm functionally invincible

There's a short story from edgar allen poe I half remember every so often: basically the plot of melancholia but, unsurprisingly, with a hit of joyful pessimism - the unifying feeling of being un-saveable giving a fleeting gasp of community to a doomed land. anyway time to log on

A life hack it's taken 26 years to learn: when my mom starts rambling on some random tangent, if you ramble even further in response, she'll magically remember she needs to go to the post office and hang up! "That reminds me, you know how they fast in Coptic Christianity"=freedom

"it's like cocaine for women" is... A strong presumption on top of an already precarious suppositionhttps://twitter.com/ZiziFothSi/status/1222494750386860032 …

"how do you feel about painting the radiator today?" Imagine living with me for 3 years and thinking I have feelings enough to spare for such a project

Filled with a righteous bravado and fuelled by endless Mettle teas she spends far too much money on, Arla lives for drama, and keeps both ears to the ground whenever she can in order to find it.

She now uses the press to publish every crime, misdemeanour, bad word and pungent odour she comes across in the city (as well as a stream of borderline profane and libelous cartoons about "the onions", otherwise known as union guards)