Hello, friend. It sounds like observational unattached equanimity or "flow" might be what you're hoping to cultivate. Something that has helped me navigate these states has been embodied awareness, particularly in terms of temperature and related phenomena throughout the body.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
It may be helpful to distinguish between a cold (-) aversive detachment and the cool (+) relief of observational unattached equanimity, which remains fully engaged, human, and capable of warmth (+), but no longer hot (-) and bothered by what arises.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
In my experience, cultivating this fully engaged and human aspect of non-attachment requires, as you've recognized, being in the moment and staying in the present, joyfully and courageously, yet unbothered by what arises and beyond clinging.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
As you've likely noticed, when attachment arises, it might seem to have a fiery quality. This heat often leaves us feeling unpleasantly agitated and even burnt. As soon as we notice that sensation, which usually arises in the body itself, it can become a marker or cue.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
That fiery sensation, sometimes associated with elevated heart rate, also reflecting anger or aggression, alerts me to a habituated grasping tendency, informing me that I've become attached in some unhealthy way. Noticing these sensations, I begin to know my mind through my body.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
When an instance of attachment next arises, I practice recognizing it with greater precision and speed. Each time, with practice, I improve. I thus catch the fire early rather than let it violently spread throughout me and beyond me into shared, interpersonal terrain.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
As I practice catching the fire earlier, I'm cultivating a refined awareness of its markers or cues. The refined awareness that arises from this can either 1) dissolve and douse the flames or 2) transmute the associated heat.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
Breath practice has been the most helpful for me in terms of dissolving and dousing the flames of unhealthy attachment. When I feel the fire kindling and notice my heart rate rising, I cultivate an embodied awareness of the breath, slowing and lengthening it. The flames diminish.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
Compassion and other heart-based practices have been the most helpful for me in terms of transmuting heat. When I feel the fire kindling and notice my heart rate rising, I regulate and reroute this heat intentionally, like a controlled fire that warms rather than burns.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
I cultivate the heartfelt aspiration for all to become unshackled from what binds them, myself included, converting the binding aspect of attachment into a committed presence and unattached immersion in the world of beings mutually unbinding.
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Through practice, the hot (-) quality of attachment cools (+) into unattached equanimity but remains warm (+) with compassion rather than cold (-) with indifference. Inner heat has been transmuted from poison into medicine.
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Replying to @NoaidiX @asunflowerjane
Integrating the recognition that objects of attachment are impermanent yet meaningful enables an easeful unbinding. Like flowing water, vapor, air, or empty space. I still breathe air and drink water with full appreciation, but I don't cling to them, as there's nothing to grasp!
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