"Dear Dr. [Redacted],
[...]
Disclaimer: This is not a spam message, and has been sent to you because of your eminence in the field."

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Apparently I'm at the stage in my non-career that entails publishing/presenting on food stamps with no affiliation, leading to "non-spam" invites to more journals/conferences. Eventually, I will have infiltrated the system without anyone noticing I'm an eminent non-entity.
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