More reasons life in America was better 50 years ago: * Coal smoke a constant reminder of American greatness * Guatemala; need I say more? * Constant threat of nuclear holocaust reminded us to live in the moment * No Viagra = more free time
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Yet more reasons life in America was better 50 years ago: * Cleveland had a river catch FIRE. How awesome is that?? * No video games = no annoying gamers * Planes actually crashed, so flying was more fun * The romance of still believing Soviet communism could work
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Even more reasons life in America was better 50 years ago: * More fatal car crashes (that's good, right?) * Massive riots in every major city - anarchy is fun! * People were shorter, so they didn't bump their heads as much * No digital cameras = easier to forget how ugly we were
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Still more reasons life in America was better 50 years ago: * Illegal weed meant weed was cool * Gay couples could avoid expensive weddings * Cities infested with adorable rats * Vietnam
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And more reasons life in America was better 50 years ago: * Could support a family with one income and one full-time unpaid housekeeper * "Send you to work in the mines" was a job offer instead of a threat * Cars randomly exploded! * Could litter freely
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Oh, and you still had one year left to see Jimi Hendrix and/or Janis Joplin live! (end)
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* The year was '69, the sex number
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Also, many people got their first real six-string
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Ok the cell phone thing does seem like a real positive
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If someone comes for my cell phone I'm just gonna start swinging
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