Nils Parker

@NilsAParker

Partner at Brass Check; Founder of Command+Z Content; Writer of Hilariousness

Los Angeles & Milwaukee
brasscheck.net
Joined February 2009
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    23 Apr 2014

    Ketchup on eggs is a failure of parenting.

    6 replies 47 retweets 88 likes
  2. Jun 8

    "Lordy, I hope there are tapes." -- every 16-year-old kid rummaging through their cool uncle's garage in the 1980s and 1990s

    1 reply 9 likes
  3. Jun 5

    If true, then yet another data point in support of the argument against the politics of humiliation and shame. It is a dangerous game.

    Reports in both New Yorker & NYT that thing that tipped Trump to reject Paris Agreement was Macron's boast about his death-grip handshake
    3 likes
  4. May 30

    There is no greater snowflake in American society than the conservative made uncomfortable by artistic expression they don't like/understand

    5 replies 5 retweets 21 likes
  5. Retweeted
    May 30

    Mortified to see people who complain about PC and free speech getting upset by the Kathy Griffin pic.

    86 replies 50 retweets 150 likes
  6. Retweeted
    May 30

    The protest/protection cycle of political decline.

    Portland's top Republican told me he's considering using militia groups as security for GOP events.
    1 reply 18 retweets 21 likes
  7. May 29

    I'm Chuck Woolery and we'll be back in two-and-jew

    Believe it or not. Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin were both Jewish. I was shocked to find, most of the original Soviet Communists were Jewish
    2 likes
  8. May 24

    BINGO.

    Also you’re already (unfortunately) losing a marketing battle when it’s being called "a body slam.” Like WWE. Instead of just assault.
    1 like
  9. May 23

    Not sure what to make of these last six quarters from Lebron, but I know one thing: somebody better check Delonte West's text messages.

    4 retweets 12 likes
  10. May 23

    Novel Strategy: w/in 1hr of getting shredded, delete tweet, apologize & go back to tweeting like nothing happened. Honestly: it might work

    1 reply 2 retweets 6 likes
  11. May 20

    The low-five from all four teammates after the first free throw attempt is the participation trophy of professional sports.

    4 retweets 12 likes
  12. May 19

    if Marcus Smart punched Lebron James in the mouth, 100% chance James would take it and do nothing. (It's JR Smith you'd have to worry about)

    1 retweet 4 likes
  13. May 19

    As a 38yr old, Ive watched ~20 of the 50 best bball players of all time play live or on TV. Lebron is by far the least enjoyable to watch.

    15 likes
  14. Retweeted
    May 15

    True for catching murderers AND for meeting online dating matches in person: if it doesn't happen in the first 48 hours, it probably won't.

    1 reply 1 retweet 17 likes
  15. May 15

    Gratitude should be like fight club. The first rule is DONT TALK ABOUT IT. Just shut up and go and do it.

    1 reply 14 retweets 22 likes
  16. May 9

    PREDICTION: the next will be the district attorney w/the highest conviction rate from all seasons of all versions of Law&Order

    1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
  17. May 5

    Good long read on how Iran's presidential elections work.

  18. Apr 27

    The Chicago Bears just traded up one draft position this year to drop one position in the standings for the next five years. Duuuuuuh Bears

    7 retweets 10 likes
  19. Retweeted
    Mar 21

    This man is the Real MVP!

    12 replies 153 retweets 415 likes
  20. Mar 9

    The only question I have is, which one is the baby and which one is the bathwater?

    NFL stunner: Texans trade QB Brock Osweiler AND a 2018 second-round pick to Cleveland for the Browns to take...
    1 retweet 3 likes
  21. Retweeted
    Mar 9

    This poem is 🔥.

    1:26
    "Sunken Place" ( poor Georgina)
    12 replies 497 retweets 1,931 likes

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