7yo son, angry: “This boy kissed a girl on the cheek in class!” Me: “Did he have her permission?” Him: “NO.” Me: “So he didn’t have...?” Him: “Her CONSENT.” Me: “So what he did was?” Him: “VERY WRONG.” If my 7yo son gets it, grown ass men have no excuse. Class dismissed.
14yo son, devastated: “I was accused of raping a girl! I didn't do it!”
Me: “Uh no, sweetie, I'M A BELIEVER”
Him: “NO MOM PLEASE BELIEVE ME.”
Me: “#METOO
”
Him: *sobs uncontrollably*
Me: “I knew I should aborted you when I found out you were male.”
Him: *commits sudoku*