Nicola Masters

@NicolaDawn

Former child genius. Thoroughly below-par adult. Award-winning writer. Just-about-average dancer. Prodigious cheese-eater. Nasty woman.

Falmouth, England
nicolamasters.com
Joined February 2009
253 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    18 Oct 2016

    It's cute that Youtube think I might need to see pregnancy test ads, but we both know I'm home alone watching videos about chicken-keeping.

    1 retweet 1 like
  2. Retweeted
    18 hours ago

    Theresa May just been running through that wheat field again

    213 replies 18,494 retweets 35,554 likes
  3. Retweeted
    10 hours ago

    Is this like when she had no intention of calling an election?

    BREAK: told PM has no intention of resigning
    113 replies 3,909 retweets 7,432 likes
  4. 10 hours ago

    That's when you know it's serious.

    2 likes
  5. 18 hours ago

    This is the first time my vote has ever been worth anything. EXCITING TIMES:

  6. 19 hours ago

    I will never care about anything in my entire life as much as Sunderland cares about being first.

  7. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    I know you registered to vote: But have you voted yet? For all our tomorrows, particularly if you are young, please, please vote!

    291 replies 8,343 retweets 12,480 likes
  8. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    Congressman: god will take care of climate change. God: bitch I sent you scientists.

    1,071 replies 83,150 retweets 186,494 likes
  9. Jun 2

    I wonder how much I could achieve in life if I didn't constantly have 'See My Vest' taking up too much brain space.

    2 likes
  10. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    . Why are you missing from this statement? You can't stand up for Britain because you won't stand up to Trump. Weak leadership.

    BREAKING: France, Germany, Italy issue joint statement saying Paris climate accord can't be renegotiated.
    937 replies 23,494 retweets 41,158 likes
  11. May 30

    It's so cool how a person's dog will always be at least 150% better than a person's child.

  12. May 27

    So glad I saved my first viewing of The Day After Tomorrow until the day after I was kept up all night by a massive lightning storm.

  13. May 13

    TFW you congratulate yourself on getting through a whole round of scores only to find out that there's MORE scores.

    1 like
  14. May 13

    OMG NORWEGIAN JEDWARD

  15. May 13

    would be so much better if it didn't have all these songs in it.

  16. Retweeted
    May 4

    Quickly deleted, but can't believe he even messed this up.

    380 replies 12,120 retweets 20,235 likes
  17. May 4

    "Dad, I *really* want to make a spaceship out of the Fairy liquid bot-" "Well, life's not fair, son. Stop being a little bitch."

    1 like
  18. Apr 30

    I'm not saying I'm lazy, but this morning I checked the beach webcam to see what the weather was doing rather than opening the curtains.

  19. Retweeted
    Apr 28

    Props to for their work on

    43 replies 3,810 retweets 9,402 likes
  20. Retweeted
    Apr 21

    🗳 Do your bit! Retweet this and make sure you're registered to vote! 👉

    , , and 3 others
    375 replies 24,431 retweets 8,461 likes
  21. Apr 19

    Anyone thinking Baywatch is sexy beach-based entertainment hasn't seen me fall repeatedly off a paddleboard then try to get out of a wetsuit

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