Nick GreeneOvjeren akaunt

@NickGreene

A writer you may have come across while reading , , , , , and other fine publications.

Oakland, CA
Vrijeme pridruživanja: lipanj 2009.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    WHO WANTS TO READ A STORY ABOUT HARPS??? (I wrote a story about harps, for .)

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    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    I googled for one minute. House Democrats unveiled an infrastructure plan last week: House Democrats introduced a child care bill last year:

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  3. People will be marveling at this dumbass tweet for thousands of years. A UNESCO World Heritage Site of stupidity.

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  4. 5. velj

    Richard Speck’s corpse is wheeled to the dais and Trump gives it an open-mouthed kiss. “We’re going to Mars,” he says, earning wild cheers from the Republican side of the aisle.

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  5. 4. velj

    Shadow Caucus App: —Doesn’t work. —Has scary name. —Undermines public confidence in the democratic process. Nokia Snake Game: —Snake gets longer the more it eats. —Score reported immediately. —Total rush whenever you almost hit a wall. —Not a real snake, which is a relief.

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  6. 4. velj

    “Sorry we locked you inside the MRI overnight. Anyhoo, we should have a guesstimate on that cancer stuff before happy hour.”

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    3. velj

    Thank heavens Patrick Mahomes makes the occasional mistake, if only to keep things interesting.

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  8. 3. velj

    My favorite part of the Super Bowl is when they start playing the normal ads. It’s like when you’re at a dinner party and the host starts loading the dishwasher.

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  9. 2. velj

    UPDATE: The league found someone to make a new giant flag, but they accidentally commissioned street artist and provocateur Banksy. He replaced all the stars with Twitter logos. Truly a nightmare day for the NFL.

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  10. 2. velj

    Just got off the phone with Roger Goodell. He confirms that someone spilled mustard on the big flag that goes across the field before kickoff so the Super Bowl is canceled. Fox will be airing a mini-marathon of the early 2000s sitcom ‘Titus’ starring Christopher Titus instead.

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  11. 1. velj

    In light of the recent news that witnesses and evidence are no longer allowed at trials, I am thrilled to announce my new job: Guy Who Takes Things From Museums and Then Sells Them Directly Outside of the Museum For Cash.

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  12. 28. sij

    This impeachment is like playing Scrabble against a raccoon. Sure, you spelled “tracheotomy,” but they ate all the pieces and pooped on the board so who’s to say who the real winner is here?

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    27. sij
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    27. sij

    Great piece from on Kobe as the last of a basketball archetype: “High-volume scorer wasn’t a pejorative term to him. It was a job description."

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    🚨 IMPORTANT WORLD INDOOR BOWLS CONTENT 🚨 spoke to Nick Brett aka the guy who made THE SHOT about how he made THE SHOT

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    24. sij

    The best sports moment of the year came at the 2020 World Indoor Bowls Championships.

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  17. 24. sij

    This is a World Indoor Bowls Championships account now. Let me know if you don’t like the World Indoor Bowls Championships so I can shove you in a barrel and push you over Niagara Falls.

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    18. sij
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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Appreciate the readers who pre-order my new book. It's about winning big in our crazy modern times and what it does to people in the age of social media celebrity. Put a lot into it.

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  20. 11. sij

    I’ve had the privilege of writing Slate’s weekly pet advice column for more than a year, but today Beast Mode goes into hibernation. It was a strange, wonderful beat. What am I going to miss most? Gotta be all the dynamite dogs and cats. They were great!

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  21. 8. sij

    Dear God, Sussex is Dukeless right now. [Cut to Sussex going absolutely hog wild. Like when the dirty dancers in Dirty Dancing finally got to dirty dance. It's actually pretty hot! Anyway, Mr. Bean is there and he looks pretty drunk. I guess the Duke was in charge of that?]

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