While I believe in open relationships if both partners are willing and consent, I find the comparison of adultery with the other kinds of sex mentioned to be crude and insulting.
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I’m uncomfortable with speaking of gay and interracial relationships in the same breath we talk about adultery. Adulterers choose to hurt their unwilling partner which is quite different from being in a consenting gay/interracial/het relationship.
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I agree!! The idea 'we're relaxed about premarital sex' (only ever vilified by conservative Priests) & gay & interracial sex (only ever vilified by homophobes, racists) feels like a very uncomfortable partner to "adulterous flings", "extramarital affairs". Fascinating piece tho'
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Right! Because even in premarital sex the people involved are agreeing to the act, however negatively some people in society may see it. Adultery involves a dynamic where one partner isn’t consenting.
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let alone the betrayal & premeditated lying involved in an extramarital affair which can go on for years. I don't think Zoe Heller could've meant it this way, but she seemed to conflate the immorality of cheating with the (*NOT*) *immorality* of gay, interracial or premarital sex
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1 Assumption is made that extramarital sex is increasing; does author prove this? 2 the first 3 types of sex mentioned are consensual. Cheating is not; there is selfishness, deception & breaking a commitment - very different emotional experience. We should not be casual about it.
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Have US citizens lost all moral compass? Selfishness is OK, greed is OK, lying is OK, and now there is the wish to make cheating and breaking a commitment with your partner OK. Well where do we draw the line or should all behavior be socially acceptable?
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Whatever makes you feel good apparently with no regard for anyone but yourself
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Ayn Rand's philosophy "selfishness is good" is fav book of P Ryan & many Repubs & it frames the Repub ideology. People without empathy or a conscience are drawn to it. So cheating on partner, causing hurt to another person, taking health care from kids, to them isn't important
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So agree. I Despise Ayn Rand & everything about her which yes does inform most of the Republican party in U.S. The imperative is to protect oneself and stay in the bubble & care less about anyone else. Dogs, donkeys & goats have greater empathy in their caring for others.
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Please don’t malign the dogs, donkeys & goats
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& some of mine, too! I adore dogs, donkeys and goats -- my point was that innocent cherished peaceful creatures have a rep for being "simple" and they have it in spades over humans for being loving and moral. Also adore penguins puffins songbirds bears dolphins apes everyanimal
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you might enjoy this cam i love, showing a barn full of rescued donkeys, two of whom are preggo females. It's a manger scene in Ipswich Mass https://explore.org/livecams/dog-bless-you/great-danes-donkey-hill …
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One of these is about betrayal trust and the others are not. We find betrayal repugnant.
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Really? Just really? Infidelity harms someone else. That's the difference.
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I don’t need to read this article to see how problematic the comparisons you make in the tweet quote are. Do better
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That's because premarital, gay, interracial, etc sex doesn't hurt anyone and doesn't break the trust of someone with whom you enter into a very intimate and vulnerable agreement.
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(1) The statistics are in themselves flaccid in their reliability. Yet the deductions are arrogantly precise. The comparisons of socially acceptable forms of sexual behaviours is, at best, oranges to apples. Yet there is something inside that leads me to want to believe it...
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(2) I have not cheated with any of my partners but my ex has cheated on me. In my anguished attempt at reconciling the experience with my conscious, I am riddled with questions and doubts. No answers or reasons. An act seemingly malicious in nature...
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(3) Even when I advocated for a more fluid relationship so we may relieve our natural sexual proclivities, I was met with resistance and sadness from her. I was even accused of not wanting her but it was the opposite. It was that I yearned for her eternally and yet I knew...
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(4) this is deleting deep into my mind’s foray, of which I am uncomfortable with speaking so publicly about. So I will leave with this, if monogamy is a doomed undertaking, riddled with masochism as it’s pillar. Why do we even partake?...
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(5) Why even try? For a temporary fling of sterile relationships? Is there no value in this form of relationships? Am I doomed to be eternally cheated on because of my partner’s, random & insatiable need for personal odyssey’s? Should I change?
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