The other forms of sex have no victims. Adultery does. It can devastate. Or are you speaking of consensual polygamy or open relationships?
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Just think for a moment, is monogamy natural? Of course it is not. Centuries of teaching people to feel guilty about a most natural act, that of making love, have left this ugly residual in several people's minds even today. But it will change, ignorance and superstition retreat.
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"Natrual" doesn't equal "desirable." Dying during childbirth is natural. If you do not feel inclined to stifle your natural urges, don't...and don't commit to marriage. But lying is theft of someone else's reality - theft of freedom to make good decisions about one's own life.
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Goebels was right: the influence of repeated lies is immense. The arrogant fellows who consider women 'dirty' and exclude them from getting positions of responsibility in their organizations (i.e. priests and bishops), still persuade people that the act of reproduction is a sin.
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Premarital, gay, and interracial sexual situations are actually about sex. Extramarital sex is about L Y I N G. Apples and oranges.
@newyorker, please stop pandering to people who can't keep their word. -
Actually, from what I've seen/heard, extramarital sex is also most often about sex. The motivation doesn't seem to be "to lie", that just seems a byproduct of the behavior.
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Sort of like the reasoning someone like Mike Pence uses to avoid being in a room with a woman. If he's there without his wife, he's gonna rape her. No personal responsibility. Also, not sure how sex "just happens." Admittedly, I wear clothing.
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Not sure how any of that is connected to what I thought was going to be a rational exchange of ideas. Have a nice day.
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You made a quip about extramarital sex. I merely pointed out that adultery is not really a funny or defensible topic.
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A "quip"? Hardly. I made a legitimate comment based on observation. But okay.
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Adultery is in our DNA.
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Monogamy is an agreement you make with your words and actions. It's a contract, a promise. Are you suggesting humans are incapable of honoring their agreements with one another?
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It’s part of who we are. Some people act on it, some don’t & decide to keep that contract, that promise & yes, honor their agreements.
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Civil society imposes all kinds of limitations on things that are "in our DNA." The thing about dropping the ball on a promise to be monogamous is that it hurts the victim(s) so unnecessarily.
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It sure does hurt.
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Gay, premarital, and interracial sex involve consent from all involved. Polyamory should also involve consent from ALL parties. Which is why having extramarital sex without telling your partner is still not ok. Polyamory has begun to become destigmatized. Cheating shouldn't be.
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Stigma is so strong I can’t even retweet this
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Love the illustration!
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Highly recommended read. And yet, as someone mentioned, the stigma is so strong, I can not even retweet it.
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Interesting Terry Gross interview with the author on
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