I don't follow orders well, ever since I was little even if I was going to do it anyway and someone tells me to do it, internally and often physically and verbally I lashed out against it. as an adult I fight the inner "fuck you" voice that comes in response lol
Let's talk about #PDA #ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics - when someone "tells you what to do" or "insists you do something" is it triggering for you EVEN if someone is telling you to do something that is probably for your own good? I can comply but the voice inside is screaming.pic.twitter.com/g8aZyktlRT
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my mum even says that as a kid if you told me to do something, that ensured I would never do it or I would do it slower.
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oh and I just remembered, on my report cards I would get high marks for everything until you got to the social aspects. I didnt participate, I didnt follow orders, I didnt pay enough attention (in their minds). I always got F's in those areas.
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I actually got expelled from one school after 3 suspensions at that one for my lack of following orders and lashing out when pushed about them. Suspended at the next school and my final (and best) high school I got sent to the principal a few times
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the last school worked the best for me because they designed the school work around going at your own pace, the teachers didnt have to have everyone follow the same thing all the time so you could be slower or faster or do something completely different
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I wouldn't call it a trigger for me, but I definitely resist it instinctively. For my son it's enough of a trigger that it's in his IEP and I tell every teacher to phrase things as questions. His dad took years and years to get it. "So you just let him do whatever he wants?"
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It really is not that hard to say "it's time to get ready for school, can you put your shoes on please?" or whatever instead of "Get your shoes on! Get dressed! Brush your teeth!" Ugh.
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Yeah. An example is after my mum died I had a lot of ppl telling me how I was feeling and how to handle the grief. I just wanted to scream at them to leave me alone.
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full human being capable of thinking and deciding for herself, and that is a MAJOR trauma trigger for me. My trauma triggers: not being taken seriously, not being seen (figuratively), and not being heard (also figuratively). 2/2
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Dat herken ik wel x
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When I figured this out about my son, our relationship improved exponentially. There are very few instances in which a true demand is necessary. Safety is my only exception.
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This is something I was trying to explain to people who dragged me for saying I could read a problematic book for myself and form my own opinion if I wanted. It is a prevalent form of ableism to tell ND folks we don’t have the capacity to think & act for ourselves.
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The fact we insist on it has led to ND folks being some of the great minds. NT thought patterns often make no sense & are annoying, & when they insist they’re right & I’m wrong it sucks. Also their nonsensical “rules”
Needless to say, prison was hell for me.
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Yes. Older son and I each came out of the womb saying “I’m not your monkey.” Instead of noticing 3 year old doing the potty dance and daring to suggest he go to the toilet, I came up with, “ooh, listen! The potty sounds lonely. If only Someone would go say hello. But who? Who?”
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I think this is part of why
#ActuallyAutistic folks are so wary of police and other authority figures.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Yup. That is something that makes me RAGE inside. Sometimes I can't hold in the anger and frustration, sometimes I cry with frustration.
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If it is something that I agree with, and is something that we agreed on that I need reminding of, or if I'm unclear on my role in a group, I just take it as very clear instructions. But if it's unasked and unnecessary and unwanted, it feels like I'm not taken seriously as a 1/2
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Sorry, what's PDA? I completely fall in with this though, I simply can't do something if it's demanded of me. I had no idea where that came from though!
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Pathological demand avoidance is a new disorder they're trying to establish but isn't officially recognized I think?
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Thank you!
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