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I don't know who needs to hear this but your ambition and desire for personal success are just as much a part of who you are as your desire to give back to your community This is particularly for those who are minoritized in academia
They may feel like warring impulses but you don't have to choose one over the other permanently. You can prioritize, focus on one over the other temporarily, shift back when necessary and still value both. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
It can be a struggle but both of these impulses are a fundamental part of you. One is not more valuable than the other and *both* likely contribute to your success. IMO, this conflict may even make you a better scientist.
love you @NeedhiBhalla ! thanks for saying all the things.
I believe that there is a tendency for a lot of people to forget that their wants and needs matter equal to the wants and needs of others. I call it "healthy selfishness;" too many good people forget it. It is impossible to starve either side of that balance and be healthy.
Mature mum of 2 currently 3rd year of a biological science honours degree. Sometimes failing at being a mum and wife , sometimes failing at being a student, but constantly struggling to be all 3.
Thank you for validating what's been an internal turmoil for a while.
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