Stop saying 'happy anniversary to my partner in crime.'
You do not commit crimes. You shop at Costco
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Nathan Macintosh
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Do you like when people drop by unannounced? Don't miss prohibiting pop-ins in this week's episode!
cbc.ca/1.6639451
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Kids need to hear swearing so they have an idea of what's coming up in life. You can't 'Jiminy Cricket' your way through property tax being raised to something you can't afford.
'Ah fiddlesticks, I'm homeless!'
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For a healthy serving of comedy, "Call Ahead vs. Drop-In & Canada Food Guide" with , , and , encores today at 1:30pm on CBC Radio One!
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Special/ visuals/ project coming soon
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NEW RELEASE! Excited to announce a new album from one of Canada's top comedians! Money Never Wakes from Nathan Macintosh is now available wherever you find your comedy! lnk.dmsmusic.co/nathanmacintos
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Anyone who stops in the aisle of a plane to delicately fold a hoodie to put in the overhead should be executed
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This week, to commemorate the passing of beloved comedian Tim Steeves, The Debaters are bringing back an episode from the Fact and Funny Hall of Fame. Here's a clip of and Tim Steeves in a Bare Knuckle Round to remember.
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Not trying to be crazy here but what do more than 3700 people do at twitter? What are the jobs?
'I'm head of keeping it 240 characters'
'I make sure the profiles, like, work...'
'I keep the bird blue'
'I... sweep...'
'And I watch him sweep!'
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I like that everyone who does podcasts from guys who slam doors on their head for an hour to professors of psychology are all willing to promote ManScape.
'Hi, I'm an astronaut whose been on the sun. Let me tell you about ManScape. ManScape. Your bag are trash...'
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Ah man this is awful. I love Tim Steeves. So funny on and off stage. Only comedian I would go see every single time he was headlining in town. The last time I saw him we were on The Debaters and man, it was such a great time. Toast to Steve. Sad day for Canadian comedy
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Last night the Canadian comedy family lost @TimSteeves, a relentless writer, a consummate comedian and a fierce friend. There will never be another like him. So much "roasting" in today's comedy. Not nearly enough toasting. Tonight, Tim will be well toasted.
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Make twitter self tweeting
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I bet he burned 4 and was like 'cut the video there and tell them it's 40 I'm not standing here all day...'
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A Florida man burned his 40-pair Yeezy collection to protest Kanye’s anti-semitic comments 
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Balenciaga also cut ties with me when my card was declined
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What's the glue made out of?
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Activists with @JustStop_Oil have thrown tomato soup on Van Gogh’s Sunflowers at the national Gallery and glued themselves to the wall.
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WHY??!!?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!
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Fake Joe Rogan interviews fake Steve Jobs in an AI-powered podcast arstechnica.com/information-te by @benjedwards
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See & more tonight on our 9:15PM!
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*Glass breaks, Stone Colds theme kicks in
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There has to be more people doing podcasts than listening to podcasts
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Big dogs shouldn't be forced to wear costumes. They have jobs. They sniff out drugs, they rescue people. Little dogs should be forced to wear costumes. Look at em. Sitting there shaking. Put a hat on
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Me making incredible life choices: "I'll actually only have one hash brown, thanks"
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Where is the Wal-Mart customer representation in Wal-Mart commercials? Who are these shiny, shoe wearing models in these ads?
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Air Canada making any statements about science when they over book your flight and send your bag to Guam is hilarious
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I'm in Saint john this Fri and Sat. I'm feeling pretty decently mentally/spiritually/physically TODAY, but if it takes me 13 hours to get there? If ArriveCan forces me into a line of lawlessness with people who are ready to eat each other? That will ALL reverse
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I like that the algorithm is like 'If comedians caption bad words or sex or anything we'll throw your video to HELL' and also goes 'yeah we'll promote videos of drunk mothers eating cigarettes VIOLENTLY shrieking about the state of things from their car'
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Took 13 hours to get to Winnipeg. I feel broken, alone, and fearful. I've never felt worse mentally or spiritually... I'll be at tonight - Sat
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I waited 72 hours to see the queens casket and as soon as I got to the front they started driving her away
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Couples that FaceTime together annoy everyone around them together
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Honestly shocked there are not piles of abandoned children at the airport. Going through lines, taking your shoes off, dragging bags everywhere and JEFF starts screaming? That’s it, Jeff… that’s it
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The next list was ‘what things should I NOT try in life?’ Number 1 was legit ‘don’t play it safe’…
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Is anyone driving from Toronto to Winnipeg tonight at an undetermined time? I’m going to miss a connection. Oh also preferably driving from Toronto to Winnipeg with very little gas?
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There was zero reason to say New York. Who cares. I mean who cares about anything but what RUNWAY you’re on? Which CITY? A runway is a runway. Also the woman went to another list before number 1 of ‘what to do when your parents get older’. I’m assuming it’s ‘bury them’
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Stuck on a run way in New York, the woman beside me is reading top ten lists, so I’m secretly reading top ten lists. Just learned ‘top ten things to do with your parents when they get old’. Four is WILD!
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We bred dogs out of being wolves and into being our children
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How was the leaf blower invented? Somebody got so mad at leaves once they took their vacuum outside and threw it in reverse
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Happy birthday to an incredible comedian and person, Nathan Macintosh! Check him out next Wednesday as part of our showcase at Caroline's! 7PM carolines.com/attraction/com
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But it MIGHT BE...
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Happy birthday to my favourite person @Nathanmacintosh 
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Sad news about the Queen. She was clearly the best Golden Girl
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