Nate Meyvis

In a text-based conversation with an Uber courier and he opened with a salarymanism so I salaryman'ed right back and then watched him, via the typing indicator, draft at least five attempts at the return salvo before landing a really well crafted one. "Game appreciates game."

Conversation flow: "I'm very sorry but [operational issue] so I must humbly ask for your understanding that the delivery will be delayed." "Thank you for your message. We are not in a particular hurry and would be honored if you could deliver at an unhurried pace."

Here's the things I expect a salaryman to think at this point in the conversation: "Oh wow your Japanese is good... wait... I can't say that." "Oh wow your salarymanning is good... wait... that implies I'm socially superior to a customer. Nope."

"'Thank you for your understanding. I will deliver it as expeditiously as possible.' Nope, ignores a direct suggestion." "'Thank you for your understanding. I will come at an unhurried pace.' No, can't suggest I'd actually not be as fast as possible."