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  1. Pinned Tweet
    1 Jul 2016

    When someone says more than nothing to you in the bathroom

  2. May 17

    Would the Beatles have been as popular if Jay Leno didn't die

  3. May 17

    I want to learn the jutsus Jesus knew

  4. May 17

    Which village was Jesus hokage of?

  5. May 15

    It's always funny listening to two nice people trying to be the one to clean up the mess "oh no I got it" "oh are you sure??"

  6. May 9

    Who wants to do shots of Dayquil with me?

  7. May 7

    My immune system recently has been forgetting about the word "immune"

  8. Retweeted
    9 Jan 2014

    It’s Thursday. How many people have lost their healthcare today?

  9. May 3

    haha then what ;)

  10. Apr 29

    You ever send a snap video and worry you're wasting someone's data

  11. Apr 25

    When all the bees are dead, calling a girl honey is gonna be a lot more depressing

  12. Apr 23

    Me: I wanna do a lot of work today *goes to outdoor concert for 3 hours* Also me: wow why tf am I so tired. I can't do work like this

  13. Apr 23

    So hyped for today. appearance??¿?¿? 👀🤞

  14. Retweeted
    Apr 22
  15. Retweeted
    Apr 15

    bitch u built like a flute

  16. Apr 10

    You ever see someone with such a full beard they look like they're just a forehead?

  17. Apr 9

    You ever try to ask someone if they like memes? There's no way to do it without looking weird

  18. Apr 7

    It frightens me that the way we experience life is so fragile that a tiny pill can completely change one's emotional state

  19. Apr 7

    I love you twitter people

  20. Apr 4

    Is the current socioeconomic state of the world the hell we have to live through to deserve the great quality of TV we're getting?

  21. Apr 4

    No you can't make depression jokes only I can make depression jokes because I'm depressed

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