Saying "it's only manipulative ans bad if you let it get to you* is like saying "it's only racist if you let it get to you" after someone when on a racist rant........
I am not comparing the action. I am comparing the intent. Me choosing whether or not I am controlled by his controlling/abusive words does not change the fact that he intended to say this controlling/abusive thing.
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I have the freedom to ignore it. I also have the freedom to try to show people why this intent is wrong, harmful, not okay, not a compliment. Which is what I'm trying to do. Yes, I could have ignored it too. But why, why oh why, are you DEFENDING his intent?
End of conversation
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