Saying "it's only manipulative ans bad if you let it get to you* is like saying "it's only racist if you let it get to you" after someone when on a racist rant........
So if someone attempted murder but totally failed and the victim said said "They tried to murder me".... would you say "You are only murdered if you allow yourself to be"?
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I am not comparing the action. I am comparing the intent. Me choosing whether or not I am controlled by his controlling/abusive words does not change the fact that he intended to say this controlling/abusive thing.
End of conversation
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