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NGrossman81's profile
Nicholas Grossman
Nicholas Grossman
Nicholas Grossman
@NGrossman81

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Nicholas Grossman

@NGrossman81

International Relations prof at U. Illinois. Senior Editor @ArcDigi. Author “Drones and Terrorism.” Politics, national security, and occasional nerdery.

amazon.com/Drones-Terrori…
Joined April 2015

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    Nicholas Grossman‏ @NGrossman81 Feb 26

    President Trump’s head snaps up. He stops speaking mid-sentence. It’s only then that I hear the shots. Before anyone can react, he’s running. Running towards the school—the Secret Service scrambling to follow.

    1:53 PM - 26 Feb 2018 from Urbana, IL
    • 36 Retweets
    • 67 Likes
    • Naïna Mark Pulis Rickey Dlano Murt Diane Mastalir Val Cory Griffith 🏳️‍🌈 Alison Kelly Ben Sabourin
    11 replies 36 retweets 67 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Nicholas Grossman‏ @NGrossman81 Feb 26

        His brain—his very good brain—already calculated the most efficient route to the shooter. And he gets there just in time, hurling his body in front of the students.

        4 replies 11 retweets 25 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Nicholas Grossman‏ @NGrossman81 Feb 26

        Trump rolls to a stop and pops to his feet. The shooter briefly freezes, but then squeezes off three rounds. He dodges the first two like Neo, but—oh no!—the third connects. We gasp as the president briefly falters, but stands tall. “That might bruise,” he smirks.

        2 replies 11 retweets 22 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Nicholas Grossman‏ @NGrossman81 Feb 26

        Trump has no gun, no weapon we can see, and the Secret Service is still far away. But lo!, Donald Trump is never unarmed. He unleashes a devastating burn, an insult so cutting the shooter collapses to the ground, clutching his chest.

        3 replies 6 retweets 26 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Nicholas Grossman‏ @NGrossman81 Feb 26

        "MAGA!," we cheer, but the president isn't smiling. "That was close," he says. "But I can't always be here. Next time, you better be armed." And before we can thank him, he's gone. Fox & Friends is on, and it's not going to watch itself. (END)

        4 replies 10 retweets 41 likes
        Show this thread
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Ken Krown‏ @kenkrown Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        Great thread. In my head, I pictured the Trump role being played by Homer Simpson, and it was even more hilarious. What a time to be alive, right? #MAGA 🙄

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Nicholas Grossman‏ @NGrossman81 Feb 26
        Replying to @kenkrown

        Yeah... that's about right. I had the episode where Homer becomes a bodyguard in mind (the one where he dives shouting "nooooooooooo!")

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Rickey‏ @rickeywarwick2 Feb 27
        Replying to @NGrossman81 @kenkrown

        pic.twitter.com/KAdPSIuxJr

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Rick Petree‏ @RickPetree Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        To strengthen the verisimilitude, suggest: "he's running (after a fashion)..."

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
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      1. Robert Sherer‏ @RobertShererIII Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        You lost me at "he's running"

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. LI_Ann‏ @annabella313 Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81 @LouBJohnson

        When will the book be released? 😜

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Vote Midterms to Make History‏ @leftcoastlefty5 Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        Yea, in Bizarro World. Actually he cowers in fear and hides behind a large SS agent.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. LocalSP1‏ @LocalSP1 Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        He would have made it too...if it were not for those damned bone spurs.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Suzy Howell‏ @howellsuzy Feb 27
        Replying to @NGrossman81 @MLCzone

        You’re describing Jack Reacher not #CadetBoneSpurs

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Green Banana‏ @MillerScott4 Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        @abc Hahahahahahahaha Bad fucking joke

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. FASCISTS BEWARE  🌊votebluenov.6th‏ @LeeWPaul1 Feb 26
        Replying to @NGrossman81

        😅🤣😂😁

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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