Like, I get it. I still catch myself doing it even being aware of it. Someone says something, it stings, and I want to respond.
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Replying to @N7IRL
And you see it all over, especially with white cis males. Complaints that we're the only legit targets these days, that we're called evil.
4 replies 51 retweets 335 likes -
Replying to @N7IRL
Because dudes see critiques and complaints and don't want to feel that sting of guilt. 100% of "not all men" responses are informed by this.
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Replying to @N7IRL
We want to disassociate ourselves from those responsible for the behavior, or find excuses for continuing it. Don't want to admit fault.
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Replying to @N7IRL
But it's important to recognize that when criticism stings, it's our own guilt speaking. That's cause for self-examination.
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Replying to @N7IRL
If someone complains about a behavior, I should at the very least consider whether I do the thing and whether it costs me to stop.
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Replying to @N7IRL
Not every single complaint is going to have merit. Context matters, as does privilege. But it costs nothing to at least consider complaints.
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Replying to @N7IRL
And coming from people from marginalized identities, a lot of critiqued behaviors are actually harmful and mean I'm costing others.
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Replying to @N7IRL
If it feels like white cis males are the most commonly targeted by these complaints? It's largely because we're the last to self-reflect.
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Replying to @N7IRL
And because a history of colonialism and white supremacy means we're socialized into behaviors that others have valid reason to oppose.
1 reply 74 retweets 434 likes
I don't have to actively support white supremacy to engage in behaviors that reinforce it. Same with misogyny. I can mean well but do poorly
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Replying to @N7IRL
When someone has a complaint about a behavior I engage in, it suits me to consider the roots of the behavior and what I reinforce.
1 reply 68 retweets 334 likes -
Replying to @N7IRL
A simple tweak to my own actions and attitudes, an awareness that I can harm withoit intent, might mean relief for others.
2 replies 69 retweets 350 likes - Show replies
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