This "Empower Women" crop top I impulsively bought is like Mario 2 - wildly incongruous & challenging on many levels.
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KatieEllen Humphries
@MsKatieEllen
Comedian. Writer. CBC’s “The Debaters”, The Lady Show, “Horny OFF MAIN” Podcast. New Album “Ladyfinger” available now. I'm mostly dimples.
KatieEllen Humphries’s Tweets
Sometimes it can be a challenge to connect with people in Vancouver, but the dude that parks 2 spots from me sat in is his vehicle to eat & listen to Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” in its entirety before going inside from work & now he is family.
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New York! Fun show alert👇
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I’m headlining another show in New York this Thursday. My main twitter account is gone, so could you please share this with your followers. Would love for this one to sell out. Thank you
bit.ly/435UAZ1
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I put my newly arrived & now pms swoll boobs in a push-up bra. Any numbers I do tonight will have an asterisk. These are McGwire titties.
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Re-listening to a podcast about perfectionism which is pretty good evidence I really didn’t do it well enough the first time.
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Babe. Be honest. In this light, are my earlobes thick & chewy, like barnacle meat?
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😍The stuff of dreams right here 👇
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Me and @MsKatieEllen being on the same show tonight is so bi coded 
eventbrite.ca/e/camp-comedy-
eventbrite.ca/e/camp-comedy-
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Debaters branch out in "Everyone Isn't Unique & Tree Planters vs. Lumberjacks" with , , , and encoring today at 1:30pm on CBC Radio One!
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I knew I would love ’s “Super Fan” but I couldn’t have known just HOW MUCH. Treat yourself to this beautifully written, fun & courageous read.
sookfong.com/?p=557
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Getting controversial on Debaters this week. 🪓 v 🌲 Check it out.
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Don't snow-flake on this week's episode!"Everyone Isn't Unique & Tree Planters vs. Lumberjacks" with @LisaBakerComedy, @yumicomedy, @MsKatieEllen, and @BannerComedy premieres today at 11:30am on CBC Radio One!
cbc.ca/1.68099851
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Not exactly an Easter Egg Hunt, but I did just find a rubber cock ring in the cushions of the Airbnb couch I’ve slept on the past 2 nights. (Insert “he is risen” tag as you see fit).
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A 16-year-old Canadian swimmer broke 2 WORLD RECORDS this week during a LEGENDARY performance & seems no one outside of a small swim community is talking about it.
Almost like all those folks obsessed with 1 trans athlete didn’t ACTUALLY care about women’s swimming. 🤔
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HISTORIC
Summer McIntosh is the first swimmer in history to hold both the 400m freestyle and 400m individual medley long course world records.
My updated story:
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Vancouver & Toronto often exist in opposition - except for the three weeks in Spring when we both get rapturously enchanted by Cherry Blossoms & I think that’s cute. 🌸
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If I’m the spouse-to-be I’d hire that security to tackle him like that during his vows. Be a great call-back. What can I say, I’m a romantic.
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I’m doing a dog friendly show tonight. Can’t wait to ask the pups in the front if they’re breeding.
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Reminded me of one of my fav things from the Toronto Life feature:
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This “Sandlot” look for Opening Day! 🙌😍⚾️
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Apr 1st is a day for jokes & you can catch that & more at Little Mountain Gallery's stand-up comedy night THIS Saturday! Curated by Juno Award winning, Jacob Samuel, & presented by , enter to WIN tix. Grab dinner& drinks in Gastown before the show!
t.dostuffmedia.com/t/c/s/39199
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People out here looking for their “other half.” I’m gonna need more like 70/30. I’m not bringing a lot in.
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The woman who teaches my Mom’s weekly Pilates class called her “one of my O.G.’s” & my Mom thought perhaps the woman was calling her “an old goat.”
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I’ve lost my social skills. Someone asks how I’m doing and I’m giving more backstory than a food blogger sharing a recipe for enchiladas.
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Oh hey! I’m gonna be on TV telling jokes tonight. CBC. 9pm. Set those DVRs. 👇👇👇
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Join us and see @daverburke, @Foadhp & @MsKatieEllen spill their sultry secrets, mischievous moments! 
#comedy #WinnipegComedy #StandUpComedy 2/3
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I live like I could die tomorrow but exclusively in that I refuse to wear shoes I have to “break in”
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I was funny in the greenroom & bombed onstage. (Still got it). Finally have a sense of what it’s like for kids that peaked in high school.
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I’ll concede the World Baseball Classic is “meaningless exhibition” - but so is literally ALL of sports & almost everything any of us will ever do 🤷🏼♀️ I dunno maybe people finding joy & connection amongst relentless chaos is beautiful (especially if it inconveniences billionaires)
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Would there be more opportunity for me in NYC or Toronto? Probably. But watching baseball in East Coast time? I dunno.
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I’m relatively new to feelings & healthy communication & honestly I get why my parents prefer yard work.
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I once went to an Oscars party where I won a prize for “Best Dressed” & for “Fewest Correct Win Predictions” which is my peak: stylish & oblivious.
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BEST Show with the best host/best guy in the biz! (Absolutely beloved lineup too) 😍😍😍 TONIGHT 👇
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Tonight! Prizes galore at Laugh Gallery at LMG! littlemountaingallery.ca/schedule/?fbcl
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Not often I LOL at an ep of SVU, but a local cop just cited an amateur porn site “Sugar Fap.” Will I ever stop thinking about the writer coming up with that? Times gonna tell.
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To be clear, the show names haven’t improved I’m just not booked. Am avail to fill in if anyone drops out of “Lady Killerz” or “Who Fun the World” or whatever.
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This is the 1st IWD in years that I’m not on a show called something like “Laffs & Labias” & it feels real nice.
#InternationalWomansDay2023
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This is the 1st IWD in years that I’m not on a show called something like “Laffs & Labias” & it feels real nice.
#InternationalWomansDay2023
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I can only relate to wealthy people if they’re parents ‘cause we both resent their kids.
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