Tyler

@MrsTyler78

Happily married Momma. coffee drinking closet tweeter bc sometimes u need to cuss the ones you love in private in order to remain sane.

United States
Joined October 2018

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    30 Dec 2018

    Threw all the chocolate in the house away bc . Time to get back to eating healthy. That’s a lie☝🏻 I ate it all😋 What kinda psycho throws away chocolate?

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  2. Retweeted
    3 hours ago

    Sometimes I just don't have the energy to argue... if you think you know better, by all means go ahead. I'm done.

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  3. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Occasionally I get really into the “parent twitter” and I’m thinking of wholesome and marginally funny responses and then I scroll past some absolutely scandalous thing someone retweeted. Makes my brain stall out every time.

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  4. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    I really need to teach my facial expressions how to use their inside voice.

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  5. Retweeted

    Here's the thing - I could pick apart your tweets, too. But, I'm not an asshole.

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  6. Retweeted
    12 hours ago

    I say fuck because no other word describes how fucking serious I am about whatever it is that’s fucked up.

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  7. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Sometimes you need to distance yourself from people. if they care, they’ll notice. if they don’t, you’ll know where you stand.

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  8. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Actions speak louder than words, so believe what you see & forget what you heard.

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  9. Retweeted
    23 hours ago

    Because this has been the longest short week ever, a little poem. All in good fun, please don't @ me with AA info Time to brush your teeth and close your eyes, The moon is glowing in the sky, And as you fight the tired sighs, Mommy drinks because you cry.

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  10. Retweeted
    19 hours ago

    Ever have plans with someone but you’re just not feeling it and then you remember you’re a grownup and can cancel said plans and nothing horrible will happen and so you say fuck it and cancel and then your whole world opens up and you take a nap on the couch? Yeah, me neither.

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  11. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    I’ve got two beautiful kids. Not sure where they came from, my kids are at the park.

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  12. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    Me: Holy Shit! I got over 800 likes on 1 tweet!! Also me: Fuck, I think I peaked too soon

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  13. Retweeted
    17 hours ago

    Could you imagine if kids had mute buttons? - me daydreaming instead of parenting

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  15. Retweeted
    19 hours ago

    I’m doing a special for because he’s not only an amazing supportive guy, he needs as many friends as he can right now since his jaw is wired shut for the next several weeks! (I’m sure his wife is thrilled!) Also, he’s great at gif wars if that’s your thing!

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  16. Retweeted

    W: *holds up one hand* So you want it out of a squeeze bottle or....... *holds up other hand* ..... out of a condiment bottle? M: (see gif) 🤣🤣 W: Ugh. I hate you. I hate you so much.*pretends to slap me around*

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  17. Retweeted
    Show this thread
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  18. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    My husband when I smile at my phone- What are you smiling at..? I'm your reason for smiling.

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  19. Retweeted
    13 hours ago

    This guy right here is 55 away from 2K. He's sweet , kind, funny and respectful. If you have a second, go follow him!

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  20. Retweeted
    19 Dec 2015
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  21. Retweeted
    17 hours ago

    First of the year. Start if right with these crazy folks (and I mean crazy in a loving way because I am too)

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