sean staunton

@MrStaggerLee

I don't tweet often, but when I do............... you'll see why I don't.

Ireland
Vrijeme pridruživanja: veljača 2009.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    It is such a shame that the Piglet Horse became extinct. Apparently they made great pets.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    god: i have made Mankind angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. sij

    I used to think I was immortal, but it turns out the t was a typo

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    Jurgen Klopp disguise using a cap, shades and a train ticket

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. sij 2019.

    [After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory] ME: WIFE: ME: WIFE: ME: WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to— ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    HUNGOVER IN YOUR 20s [takes tylenol and goes about the day] HUNGOVER IN YOUR 30s [writing letter] Dearest Penelope, I fear this may be the final time I am blessed to feel the warmth of the sun upon my breast. I grow more weary by the moment, and prospects for survival are slim

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. ruj 2015.

    King Midas once accidentally brushed against two nannies, and they turned into an Au pair.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Friend: so what’s it like parenting a toddler? Me: why? Friend: just curious. Me: why? Friend: I don’t know nevermind. Me: why? Friend: Me: why? Friend: hey fuck you man. Me: yes that’s it exactly.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    A sourdough starter is a tamagotchi for people in their 30s

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    Thank you to the actual 1.3M people that have taken the time to watch this & try to understand something they didn’t; whether it’s in you, in somebody you know, or somebody you’ve lost. If you’ve said something to me I will reply it just takes a while. Truly, thank you xx

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. sij

    Interviewer. How come you have a four year gap in your employment history? Me: That was when I went to Yale. Interviewer: Oh that’s very impressive. You’re hired. Me: Thanks, I was starting to think I’d never find a yob.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    WIFE: you’ll be ok? ME: please don’t worry WIFE: ok I'll be back in 2 days ME: have fun! [few minutes later] WIFE: I forgot my ke—OHMYGOD [I’m topless and holding a conch. the coffee table is ablaze. the kids feast on the dog's remains]

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. kol 2014.

    Last night my mate asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. stu 2019.
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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    I feel brand new cause I just squished my baby

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. svi 2018.

    Such a wierd day, found a hat full of money in the street. Was also chased by a bloke with a guitar

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. lip 2015.

    I went to a Red Light district once. The traffic was terrible.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    Dinner is poured.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. sij

    Flight out of Chicago cancelled so I’ve been put up in the O’Hare Comfort Inn. Lady at reception said I’m in the ‘Boardroom Suite’. I thought to myself “weird name”, then walked into this... 😂

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