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  1. Pinned Tweet
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  2. Instead of the chimes of Big Ben how about this on a loop.

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  4. Retweeted

    The children woke up so early this morning, 'Has he been Daddy? Has Father Brexit been?' We went downstairs and sure enough, the pie was nibbled on, the wine sipped and our living standards had dropped by a third.

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  5. A horror film where someone finds their duvet cover has buttons at both ends.

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  6. Retweeted
    Jan 30

    BREAKING NEWS: will be presenting The Room Next Door: Under Construction on Sunday 9th Feb, 5pm London. Very limited number of tickets available via On Sale Now.

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  7. The Room Next Door - LIVE Thursday 13th February 8:00PM Tickets on sale RIGHT NOW

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  8. Tickets on sale tomorrow at 10:00AM. Critics are already calling it “just under an hour long”.

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  9. The Room Next Door LIVE Thursday February 13th 8:00PM Gulbenkian Theatre Canterbury Tickets on Sale Monday 27th January at 10:00AM

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  10. Announcement Coming

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  11. They should specify that the Bad Sex Awards is for writing. Seven years I was sending in those tapes.

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  12. One of my favourite Terry Jones moments. It’s so innocuous but it sums up perfectly the pointlessness of soliciting the opinion of the man on the street.

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  14. At my funeral I want the priest to read out a long bit about how much I loved darts. I don’t love darts but my family and friends will be like “wow we never really knew him”.

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  15. the room next door - Liz Truss with subtitles by

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  16. I told the delightful of the cherished items I’d like to take to the grave.

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  17. [to the tune of ymca] white man there’s no need to wade in I said white man just don’t even begin I said white man this is a talk about race it just does not app ly to you

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  18. Please don't make me do one about the dishwasher speech.

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  19. Book Matt for your party and he'll compose a song just for you. A very funny song. Guaranteed.

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  20. I’d be all for sleeping my way to the top if it did mean literally just sleeping.

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