RING A DING DING
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Mister Hayden’s Tweets
There's an old man on the bus that keeps pinching my leg. I keep begging, "Why do this to me, old man?" He's pinching harder and mocking, "TELL TWITTER ABOUT IT. TELL TWITTER ABOUT IT." He has a round head like an egg and his voice is very mean.
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A HOMONCULUS OF THE WORST PARTS OF MAN
AMPLIFYING ONLY HIS RECKLESS AND HATEFUL GREEDS
I WILL not BE DEFEATED
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MY GREATEST ENEMY IS GARFIELD
I WILL STRIKE HIM DOWN ON ANY GOD-GIVEN MONDAY
LET THE LASAGNA WEAKEN YOUR FRAME, CATMAN
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RING A DING DING BZZZT BING A RING BAM BAM BAM WHAM WHAM BZZZT BZZZT WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM GRRRR SNARL SNARL GRRRRRR DING A DING WHAM BAM RING A DING
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RING A DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING RING A DING IT'S COMICS TIME
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I'M THINKING ABOUT ALL THE HAIRS THAT HAVE FALLEN OFF MY BODY
ASSUMINGLY SHED IN PUBLIC OR OUTDOORS
WHERE ARE THEY NOW
JUST CLOSING MY EYES AND THINKING ABOUT IT
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