contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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I used to hate my father so much that I wanted to kill him, and I loved him more than life itself, and he attempted to kill me, and he certainly loved me, and since his death all I can do is forgive the part of him that lives in me, and redeem that part, and move on. That's all
If I were holding a sledgehammer, even when told to by him, he'd say something like, "I'm sure you're thinking about killing me with that." And this when I was 8-10 years old! But he'd always add that he had been a son as well, to his own father, and that was all he thought about
That's an insane thing to articulate, I suppose, but in that madness is the divinest sense, because this is essentially the way that most people have to sit with their feelings, and his feelings and mine were "big feels" to be sure, and we realized they weren't our only "feels"
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