“We have discovered happiness,” say the legions of bleary-eyed, self appointed hall monitors living here at the end of history and the dawn of Year Zero. “We have invented clean discourse,” they say, and blink.
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The year is 2021. Twitter reporting teams have systematically eliminated each other in the course of the Great Discourse War, reducing the site to approximately 500 eggshell accounts and two blue check profiles: @MoonPie and @footlocker. Twitter stock is at an all time high.
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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RIP to the
@steak_umm account. They must have been martyred like@tereseaimee for truth telling. I hope it was a painless death. -
Likely the repeated use of “bless” by
@steak_umm will lead to its cancellation - 2 more replies
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A dire fate awaits us. You hate to see it.
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Not here for it
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I AM HERE FOR IT
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We are in a war. The endgame is Mad Max. This is why I keep the Road Warriors/LoD as my profile banner. A reminder of what Twitter is. A 1980s hellscape. If you ain’t got muscle, you ain’t got shit.
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Prophetic
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