contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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True story: worst part of my old bartending gig was The Work of cleaning up the ladies room. Feminine cleanliness is an elaborate hoax. Found multiple pairs of shat drawers, and a used tampon placed in the sink.
Plumbing is my regrettable trade skill so I have augered some bad ones in the past few years. Also watched a master plumber eat a sub sandwich while stepping on a motorized auger with his bare feet. The work
"Blood borne pathogens? Hepatitis? What are those things???"
I believe @alacrates knows the plumbing trade so he may have some good horror stories depending on what he does
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