contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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"COBRA" was some sort of evangelical/sales hustle he masterminded, and yet he came to believe deeply enough in its ethos of shooting blue lasers and losing pitched battles that he realized it needed to be led by a real man's man made from the DNA of some true world-beaters
this is, I think, the trajectory for any kind of sales wonk with no skills past networking, white papers, and the "gift of gab." Cobra Commander did the work, you see. He Organized. He got out in the Streets. And he was cucked by his subordinates and swallowed by his own creation
were BuzzFeed or Teen Vogue daring enough to "center" a toxically man-boy cartoon from the 1980s, they might get a hell of a hot take about how Cobra Commander's career trajectory isn't dissimilar to Bernie Sanders', who is destined to be swallowed whole after losing bigly
Let me tell you: Cobra Commander was here for it. He believed in the work he did. He accommodated all of his easily triggered subordinates, who findommed him (Destro) or kept his nether regions in some kind of chastity strap (Baroness) or trolled him (Bludd, Mindbender, Zartan)
i'm here for it. this is the tea. you know in your heart that i'm right
Yes, CC had nothing but Howard Dean Scream moments, yet kept his job, more or less, for a very long time with no discernible success. His Wiki is impressive but noted pro wrestler Chris Hero has close to 300 footnotes and many unknown birds are at 1000+ (WW2 is at 400)
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