contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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when it came time for "Cobra Commander" - that legendary PMC who built "COBRA" like a pyramid scheme - to assent to his own demotion, becoming a "middle manager" licking the boots of the genetically-engineered "Serpentor" whose creation he spearheaded, he took one for the team.
"COBRA" was some sort of evangelical/sales hustle he masterminded, and yet he came to believe deeply enough in its ethos of shooting blue lasers and losing pitched battles that he realized it needed to be led by a real man's man made from the DNA of some true world-beaters
this is, I think, the trajectory for any kind of sales wonk with no skills past networking, white papers, and the "gift of gab." Cobra Commander did the work, you see. He Organized. He got out in the Streets. And he was cucked by his subordinates and swallowed by his own creation
were BuzzFeed or Teen Vogue daring enough to "center" a toxically man-boy cartoon from the 1980s, they might get a hell of a hot take about how Cobra Commander's career trajectory isn't dissimilar to Bernie Sanders', who is destined to be swallowed whole after losing bigly
Let me tell you: Cobra Commander was here for it. He believed in the work he did. He accommodated all of his easily triggered subordinates, who findommed him (Destro) or kept his nether regions in some kind of chastity strap (Baroness) or trolled him (Bludd, Mindbender, Zartan)
The Cobra Comander virgin vs the Destro chad
That's a story arc I'm here for. And the Baroness is getting venmoed by Duke and has Snake Eyes subscribing to her OnlyFans. The work
i'm here for it, the many faces of cobra commander
So is ACA just advanced COBRA?
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