contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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A new pipeline is installed in your house, parallel to the sewer line and connecting with the basement sanitary drain...is it a second sewer line? Nope, even if it smells like sewage, it's something more valuable by far: a shelter at home food tube, full of sugary caloric ooze
Where is father, mother asks? "He's downstairs sucking the pipe," replies son. That doesn't mean what it used to mean: giving head or inhaling tailpipe fumes. No, folks, dad is downstairs sucking calories into his frame, calories rich in antibiotics, estrogen, and syrup
Eventually, as with everything else in this society of ours, the food tubes become quite unequal in quality. Some deliver actual sewage that has been run through a bleach wash, a kind of "mother bird" second helping of one's own waste. Others drink the ground blood of wee lambs
Finally an easy way to get my calories in!!! #permabulk
Pro-tier hardgaining
T&E did the work back before they became total soyfaces
that pipeline is the internet lol
If only it could feed us and extract (and dispose) of our most precious fluids
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