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MoustacheClubUS's profile
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
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@MoustacheClubUS

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Oliver Bateman Does the WorkVerified account

@MoustacheClubUS

contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod ♉

Washington, PA
oliverbateman.com/bibliography/
Joined May 2011

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    1. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS Apr 24
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      An important part of my homeschool curriculum was writing overwrought apologies to my mom for violating her rules about chewing gum, cracking knuckles, leaving the toilet seat up, and forgetting to use the safety scissors. I wrote this letter in Feb 92, 2 mos before turning 10pic.twitter.com/LJhkfRg8OT

      6 replies 2 retweets 29 likes
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    2. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS Apr 24
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      I was allowed to use grown-up scissors and the steak knives starting on my 13th birthday. It was nice not cutting with round scissor blades or trying to slice steak with a butter knife

      2 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
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    3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS Apr 24
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      I didn't ever light a match much less start an outdoor fire until I entered my 30s.

      2 replies 1 retweet 13 likes
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    4. Dan S‏ @dr_dan Apr 25
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      Replying to @MoustacheClubUS

      I wonder what you'll new abilities you'll gain in your 40s.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    5. Dan S‏ @dr_dan Apr 25
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      Replying to @dr_dan @MoustacheClubUS

      One of those "you'll" is unnecessary. Strike the second.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    6. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS Apr 25
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      Replying to @dr_dan

      i've still never roasted a marshmallow over an open flame

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    7. Lombardiology‏ @bkharnish Apr 26
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      Replying to @MoustacheClubUS @dr_dan

      Microwave makes a superior Smore

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    8. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS Apr 26
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      Replying to @bkharnish @dr_dan

      It's all I've ever known

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    9. Lombardiology‏ @bkharnish Apr 26
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      Replying to @MoustacheClubUS @dr_dan

      The summer of my 14th year was magic. My cousin Kevin basically lived with us. Each day was like a weekend. GTA 3 was new. We had bonfires in the backyard. I fell in love with S'Mores and I perfected the art. The key is the microwave. And never go off-brand with the ingredients.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS Apr 26
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      Replying to @bkharnish @dr_dan

      You had bonfires but prefer the microwave version?

      10:16 AM - 26 Apr 2020 from Pittsburgh, PA
      3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Lombardiology‏ @bkharnish Apr 26
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          Replying to @MoustacheClubUS @dr_dan

          Yes. You get a better melt on the marshmallow which puts a better melt on the chocolate. Unless you love char on your mallow, the microwave is superior.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Enjoyer of discourse‏ @discourse_doer Apr 26
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          Replying to @bkharnish @MoustacheClubUS @dr_dan

          What the hell is wrong with this world

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. Dan S‏ @dr_dan Apr 26
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          Replying to @MoustacheClubUS @bkharnish

          Not being American, s’mores were just a TV thing for a long time. The first time I had one was the result of a bonfire on a beach in NY State. And while I understand the love for a s’more, I see it as nothing more than a revisionist attempt to rehabilitate Hershey’s chocolate.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. Dan S‏ @dr_dan Apr 26
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          Replying to @MoustacheClubUS @bkharnish

          An endeavour I cannot abide because Hersheys is just not good.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Lombardiology‏ @bkharnish Apr 27
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          Replying to @dr_dan @MoustacheClubUS

          Well, this is true. But delicious with marshmallow and graham cracker.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. 1 more reply

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