contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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"How much longer can this prosperity last?" I ask, taking a hit of my can of Fiji Oxygen. The numbers look grim. At this rate, everyone who has ever wrestled a match will be dead by 2025, as will the fans who remember them. I check my provisions and unholster my sidearm
"Yes," I say, breathing deeply through my ThermoFisher silicon lungs as I step away from my keyboard in extreme fatigue, "I have had my vision." We have discovered happiness, says the last man, and blinks.
I’ll be here for it if I’m not dead by then (former indie wrestler here)
Beautiful, we will send you off in style 
The kids chase the Super-Bugs like Pokemon
Hi, the unroll you asked for: Thread by @MoustacheClubUS: The year is 2022. The USA is up to COVID-37. 5 businesses remain open: Amazon, Walmart, UFC… https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1242278151826309121.html …. Enjoy :) 
“A satirist is a man whose flesh creeps so at the ugly and the savage and the incongruous aspects of society that he has to express them as brutally and nakedly as possible to get relief.” - John Dos Passos
Where's Luke Wilson when you need him.
The Musk-Rogan Neural Network detects your oxygen saturation levels drop momentarily and prompts you with a popup: "Have you ever tried DMT?"
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