contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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I, the man who writes Wrestler Obituaries...I work 365 days a year, sometimes filing two elegiac reminiscences a day. Nearly everyone from the attitude era is dead, including Vince. I clear a cool million a year in Amazon dot com "scrip." I smart-insulate my bunker
"How much longer can this prosperity last?" I ask, taking a hit of my can of Fiji Oxygen. The numbers look grim. At this rate, everyone who has ever wrestled a match will be dead by 2025, as will the fans who remember them. I check my provisions and unholster my sidearm
"Yes," I say, breathing deeply through my ThermoFisher silicon lungs as I step away from my keyboard in extreme fatigue, "I have had my vision." We have discovered happiness, says the last man, and blinks.
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