contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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He had almost been killed a few times in his life, and he'd tell me, "son, if it comes down to you or me, I'd want you to want it to be you because I want it to be me." It sounded crazy, but he was highlighting a fact of human nature: most of us prioritize ourselves over others
That said, as a father, on some level I think he hoped my will to live was greater than his, and that his many decades of survival hadn't been for nothing, as his own flesh and blood would be strong enough to throw him under the bus if needed
And given that he decided as his 74th year approached to *stop taking his heart medicines so he could die on time*, he surely would've taken his 50 caliber and "buttoned things up" had he received a positive test, as he'd put down a string of beloved animals over the years
His last words to me, spoken while I was driving the moot court team to a tournament, were (on speakerphone) "you take go ahead care of that horseshit, I'm dying here." And he meant that in a kind way
@UselessPraxis was actually the first to interpret it that way
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