contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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The bar remains pretty low for non-athlete celebrity lifters (politicians, podcast comedy ppl, etc.). These folks aren't good lifters. In fact, most lifters, myself included, aren't good lifters. The only lifters I want to see are people so juiced that they're going to die young
405/500ish/650ish sucks at 240, it's garbage. I want to see someone using the best drugs in the world, eyes yellowed from liver failure, bellying up to the bar for what could be their last lift. Lift every lift like it's your last lift. I love to see it. I'm here for it
This is what I love about sports. Don't take that away from me with drug tests. Don't turn it into Instagram motivational captions or use it to pimp products. A true athlete will die for their sport. Me? Heck no. I have better things to do. I'm doing the work, not in the arena
The best athlete, the true athlete, would die for that extra pound or yard or second. You love to see it. It's dumb as hell. I'm here for it. Get on that grind
This is what I miss about PRIDE and the early MMA promotions. Getting so juiced up for a fight and so beaten down that even if you win you're effectively a ruined, dead person walking. The true athlete would die for a single move or play. It all comes down to that. The Big One
True sport really does amount to the Sum of All Cliches. If the bar ain't bending you're just pretending. If you're not dying you're not trying. It's not everything it's the only thing. I love to see it. The opposite of life as marathon. Life as pointless death sprint. Yes!
When my dad essentially ended his career as a truly premium-tier explosive athlete in a football game against USC, blowing out his knee while ***missing*** a cut block, he distilled that attitude perfectly: "did I fuck up? You betcha. Would I do it again? Always the same way."
The true athlete would not only die for a Missed Rep, they would experience going all out for that life-ending Missed Rep as an eternal recurrence. I would never do that. I have stuff to live for. I love to watch blackout drinking too, but I'm a 100% teetotaler. I love to see it
Influencing from beyond the grave. That’s a whole new level of Work-Doing 
Your last lift needs to ring out, getting a billion likes after you shuffle off this mortal coil and abandon that oak-thick body that is both temple and tomb
LIGHT WEIGHT BABYYYYYYYY
Ain’t nothing but a peanut
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