contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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Let me spill some tea for you, kids: -- steal baseball signs: massive fine, fired, never gonna work in this town again (teams keep their titles, "natch") -- move to colonial virginia and forge a bunch of land deeds: become richest man in state, eventually a governor
The problem is always the same: if you're gonna do the work of hustling, you gotta steal big. Get yours til you get got
